More Clean Words that Sound Dirty

Being a guy with an 8^th grade mentality, I can never get enough of hearing words that sound dirty. There is always great amusement when someone innocently utters a sentence that I can twist into something sick and perverted. This, of course, is because I am sick and perverted-or as psychologists would say-"male."

In a previous article, I educated you with Nine Clean Words that Sound Dirty. Here I bring you nine more clean words that sound dirty along with sentences in which the correct and incorrect use of these words are shown. Hopefully, after reading this you will better understand why you must choose your words more carefully when talking to sick and perverted guys like me.

Shuttlecock

It sounds like a stud service for an all-woman space crew, but a shuttlecock is that thing that is batted back-and-forth over the net in badminton.

Example: To help pass the time, the women aboard Discovery batted a shuttlecock back-and-forth while waiting to dock with the Russian space station where that handsome shuttlecock Uri Kozlov would be waiting for them.

Ballcock

Naturally, this word makes you think of male genitals, however a ballcock is the device that regulates the amount of water in your toilet tank.

Example: After completely emptying about a gallon of Bud Light from his ballcock system, Bernard flushed the toilet causing the tank to fill with water which is regulated by a ballcock system.

Cockeyed

No, it's not an adjective to describe a woman on the prowl for men. Cockeyed means twisted, crooked, or tilted, which, by the way, is exactly what some men are looking for in a woman.

Example: I could tell by the smoldering cockeyed look on Justine's face that no man in the bar-not even the dork wearing the cockeyed glasses-was safe.

Cumquat

It could be another word for vagina, but a cumquat is really a type of citrus fruit.

Example: While eating the delicious cumquat, Heather accidentally dripped its juice all over her cumquat.

Bangkok

It sounds like something that might happen to a blind man with an erection walking through a heavily wooded area. Bangkok, however, is the name of the capital city of Thailand. And since that city is known for its never-ending supply of prostitutes attending to men with erections, it seems aptly named.

Example: After wandering aimlessly through a jungle outside of Bangkok, Stevie Wonder was once again suffering from a severe case of bangkok.

Jactation

If you heard this word you would probably think it has something to do with masturbation. You would be wrong, because jactation means boasting or bragging.

Example: The guys at the gym were all tired of Andrew's constant jactation about his hour-long jactation sessions.

Titmouse

No, it's not a rodent shaped like a woman's breast. A titmouse is a type of bird, of which there are many species including one called the great tit. So if you're dating a woman who is a bird enthusiast and she asks you if you'd like to see her great tits, make sure you know exactly what she means.

Example: As Felicia looked through her binoculars trying to spot any great tits flying above, Carl took advantage of the situation and gazed longingly down her low-cut blouse at her great tits.

Bushmaster

We men all like to thinks of ourselves as experts in the area of satisfying a woman, but a bushmaster is a type of venomous snake.

Example: Tyrone was known among the ladies as a bit of a bushmaster, but that all came to a tragic end after he met his maker while tangling with a venomous, 6-foot bushmaster.

Joystick

This word may sound like slang for penis, but a joystick is actually a video game controller.

Example: Because few women were impressed with Rodney's proficiency at playing video games with his joystick, the poor nerd's sex life had become nothing more than laying in bed alone and playing with his joystick.