MORE of What Men Are Really Thinking About

It's been a while, but I'm thinking when I met my wife the first thing I noticed were her eyes, her smile and her neck. After that I was so confused I couldn't think straight, so I don't know where sex fell in the overall scheme of things -- although I'm sure it was right up there somewhere.

The research -- according to the Psychology of Women Quarterly focused on 43 men and 43 women. First, participants completed surveys about themselves. Those surveys were designed to gauge masculinity and femininity. Next, the researchers paired men and women who didn't know each other. Each pair sat at a table for two and chatted for five minutes. Couples were encouraged to break the ice by introducing themselves, then talking about positive and negative college experiences.

After this little soiree' the couples parted ways, but first they completed surveys about their partner and their brief conversation.

According to the article, participants rated their partner for traits including:

- Extroversion (shy or outgoing)

- Agreeableness (friendly and easygoing)

- Sexual traits (sexy, flirtatious, seductive, and promiscuous)

- Physical attractiveness

They also noted whether they would want to see that person again -- as an acquaintance, friend, or date -- and how well the conversation had gone.

The results of this get together demonstrated that "...Men rated their female partner as more sexual than women rated their male partner..."

Maybe it's me, but this experiment doesn't sound a whole lot different than a typical "speed date." If you don't know what I'm referring to, in a speed date a group of men and women get together at some designated location and have about 3 minutes to connect and make a first impression: meet, greet and move on to the next person. Then the participants fill out a questionnaire that rates their dates and gives everyone a chance to follow up and meet in person if they want to.

Come to think of it, the researchers could have saved themselves a lot of time and effort by just attending a few speed dates in their neighborhood.

But I digress.

Getting back to the research group, men gave their female partner higher sexual ratings if they found her physically attractive. While men noted women's friendliness and agreeability, those traits didn't affect men's ratings of their partner's sexiness.

Women apparently were a little different: if they gave their male partner high sexual ratings, they also gave him high ratings for physical attractiveness, extroversion, and agreeableness.

I'm not sure what this experiment proves. I've read about other research groups that demonstrated that the first thing a man looks at is a woman's eyes, and then as the conversation that ensues, a guy will glance at a woman's breasts about every 10^th word. That sure seems more realistic. More like what a guy would do. (o-k, maybe more like a guy with the maturity level of a 12 year old). I guess if I ever strike up a conversation with a woman other than my wife I'll have to keep track of what I'm saying and where I'm looking while I'm saying it.

Researchers quoted in the Psychology of Women Quarterly said that "...if a man was perceived to be physically attractive, his partner (in the study) also assumed he had many other positive qualities (sexual and nonsexual)..."

I'm sure somewhere along the line, the way both men and women size themselves up has a lot to do with our ancestors hunting saber-toothed tigers. Of course I read that someone else's research proved men think of sex every 7 seconds.

If that's true than I better wrap this article up, because I'm running late.