More Reasons Why Robert Alford Deserves to Be Hired as a Writer

Robert Lee Alford
More reasons why Robert Alford deserves to be hired as a writer

1. I am a lot of fun around the office, the biggest reason for poor productivity at work is people being bored and hating their jobs, hire me and you will solve 50% of the problem. The people may still hate their jobs but I promise they won't be bored.

2. I love to help out, just see how helpful a worker can be, I even help the janitorial staff, yes, I'm a major league a** kisser.

3. I juggle, well I try but I really can't keep it up for long, story of my life.

4. I am non-violent, there was a time when I was young that I was a little rambunctious but after years of long hard therapy I have defeated the voices in my head and I can assure I have had zero incidents since last August.

5. I clean up nicely for a while if you scratched my gruff surface you would find an even gruffer surface underneath. Now if polished up with the kind of cash a full time writing job would afford me I can be quite the butterfly.

6. People person, for as long as I can remember I have loved people.

7. I really can write! Don't listen to everybody I really can write! Don't let the critics or my writing samples fool you.

8. I am a practicing hypnotist, I believe in the power of hypnotics and if you look carefully into my words you will understand, go ahead stare at my words silently for an hour and you will understand,,,, there now don't you see?

9. I am no longer a vampire, I have long since sworn off belief in the dark forces and their unholy alliances.

10.You would make a black man happy, people who feel guilt about the black man's plight can get a true sense of redemption by hiring me, I am a card carrying black man, local district 601 ID-#123456.

Top Reasons YOU Should Give Robert Lee Alford a Weekly Column to WriteI Am Running for Mayor of America. Do I Have Your Vote?

Published by Robert Lee Alford

Author of the book: Peeking Into the Mind of.....Robert Lee Alford Jr. He studied law in college and has done volunteer work at a drug rehab center. He has worked as radio on-air talent, ex-military polic...   View profile

13 Comments

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  • Tracy Vanderford 12/3/2010

    I don't know what to say!! lol

  • Joan Haines 9/16/2010

    If I were hiring, I'd have to arm wrestle Malina to see who'd get to put you on the payroll.

  • Jane Vee 9/8/2010

    hahaha. I don't think hypnosis or guilt will work on those without souls. The vampire belief might have. LOL

  • Malina Debrie 9/6/2010

    I agree with you on all of these. If I was still in the corporate world, hiring, I would definitely add you to the top of my list. Oh and you do clean up nicely!!!!

  • Jesse Schmitt 9/5/2010

    nice! you're hired!

  • Lodie 9/5/2010

    Great write as always!

  • Linda L Kinyon 9/5/2010

    I love reading your writing, you always state a great case. :D Keep up the super work.

  • Shethy Luve Stuckey 9/5/2010

    all solid AND funny reasons, lol!

  • Catherine Spencer. 9/5/2010

    Wow! I bet you get hired in a matter of hours with all of these qualities, Robert! Glad to know you're no longer a vampire! :)

  • Jenny Heart 9/5/2010

    Love Nancy's comment. You're great!

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