More Women Are Choosing to be Single Parents

Worldwide, there are many single parents, especially mothers. According to the US Census, 10 million single mothers live in the US. Most of these single moms are widowed, divorced, or abandoned by the father of their children. However, a good number of single moms have simply chosen to raise their children without a partner. While this is becoming more common, many people just aren't quite sure what to make up of this phenomenon. An increasing number of conservative Christians criticize children being raised in a single parent environment, and some groups have publicly condemned the practice of women having children through means of sperm donors. While some feel that a two-parent, traditional family is the best for a child, others differ and feel that sometimes being raised by a single mom is better.

The support group Single Mothers by Choice describes the typical single mother as one who chose not to wait for marriage before having a child, and intended to raise the child by herself. They also welcome women who are contemplating choosing single motherhood into their membership. This article from the NY Times gives it membership as being around 4,000. Another article from the New York Times reported that several single mothers interviewed expressed concern that they would be incapable of having children before they found the right man. Others are concerned about the possible effects of a divorce on their children. A recent blog entry on BlogHer confirmed the reasons many women decide to parent alone. The women quoted stressed the need for women choosing this option to make sure appropriate resources are available.

While some choice moms conceive children by having sex with a male partner and decide not to raise the child with him, most either adopt children or become pregnant with the aid of a sperm donor. Regardless of which situation these moms are in, most are in their 30's or 40's with the financial means to provide for their children.

Adoption has traditionally been sought as an option for single moms. Adoption provides a home for a child who might spend most of their childhood in an orphanage or foster home. However, this is not an option for many women. The adoption procedure can be expensive, especially if the adoptive parent is seeking a child from overseas. Some countries only adopt to married couples. For example, Ireland only allows couples to adopt, unless the adoptive parent is widowed, according to a US State Department factsheet. Women considering adopting from an unwed mother who wants to give her baby up should be aware of possible scams, and make sure that the biological parent doesn't have any thoughts of changing her mind.

Using a sperm donor is becoming increasingly popular with single women, as it's far less expensive than adoption. This provides a way for women to have their own biological child, which something many women find preferable to adoption. If a woman's fertility has started declining, in-vitro fertilization might be necessary, a procedure which can become very expensive and might not be covered by insurance. Unless the woman personally knows the sperm donor, the child won't be able to learn anything about their father until they've grown, provided the donor allows their identity to become known at that point. Sperm donation has been criticized by some religious groups. The Catholic Church has taken a stand against sperm and ovum donation, as well as IVF in this paper from the US Conference of Catholic Bishops. Many other conservative Christians view this as an attack on the traditional family.

With many women choosing to raise children by themselves, more resources are becoming available to them. With the most important support of family and friends, other single moms, and an open-minded faith group, these women can have a vital support network. While women with waning years of fertility shouldn't despair of finding the right husband, it's good to know that they can enjoy having a child to raise.