Moshing Etiquette: Oxymoron or Just for Morons?

You're at your favorite rock band's show who are playing one of your favorite songs that gets you really pumped. So you go into the middle of the crowd and start moshing but you're suddenly, and rudely, interrupted by some punk whining at you to stop pushing them. The whining becomes contagious and another group of people start blabbing the same tune. You stand there dumbfounded and think, what the hell just happened?

It seems that's whats happening to the mosh pits of today. You're having a good time, not intentionally trying to hurt anybody and you hear the bitching and moaning of how you're invading your fellow concert-goer's space....man. It's stunning to hear someone complaining in a general admission audience that you're standing too close to them. The whole fucking venue is sold out and you actually think you're gonna have your own section cornered off just for special you?

I'm not talking about situations where concert-goers get seriously injured cause some idiot decides to do a ninja mosh...I'll talk about this in a future article. I'm talking about a normal, old-school circle pit without the theatrical kicks and fist swings. Lately, when I'm at a show, I hear that damn annoying voice, usually from a girl or her boyfriend because he's pussy whipped and his balls are in a jar by his girlfriend's nightstand, telling someone behind them to stop pushing.

I don't understand and it boggles my mind that someone would have the balls to say something like that. I say "have the balls" because it takes guts to let the world know you're a retarded vegetable. I don't know if the heavy metal crowd deals with this crap but I like regular and hard rock n' roll so I'm only going by what I see at those shows.

People, you gotta wake up. Moshers are the best! They keep the show alive, pump up your adrenaline, and get me to the front. And for someone as little as me that's a good thing. Don't expect to go to a show and have everybody stand there and be restricted to their own space. Rock n' roll is crazy so it's going to attract crazy fans. For you assholes to tell that poor crazy kid to stop doing what he does best then you are censoring his will to live! Okay, I'm being dramatic but nonetheless it's ridiculous what I hear out there in the audience.

Now I'm not tall or strong so moshing is not what I do. I know my place and I'm smart about it. If I can't handle the crowd then I get out, which doesn't happen often cause dammit I've been to so many shows in the past that I know how to take a beating. I've come out of a show with both my sides, boobs and underarms bruised cause I was holding on for dear life on the railing. And I wasn't even in the pit.

One of my nightmarish experiences was at a sold-out show at Irving Plaza for System of a Down, who were on their last tour supporting their first album. They were huge in the underground scene and just at the brink of breaking through to the mainstream. The show was horrible (for my body) and towards the end of the show my feet weren't touching the ground anymore. Because of all the sweat I slid on the entire railing from side to side because people were pushing back and forth to get to the front.

Now during the beginning of that performance, before it got crazy, I heard someone in the background yelling to stop pushing them. By the time the band was playing their last set of songs not one person around me was complaining about the pushing or the people "invading their space." There was no point, the crowd was out of control. So I bring this up to make a point, obviously. Here's my theory. If no one was complaining about the pushing when the entire venue was in chaos that means a) the complainers left the crowd and found a more comfortable place to watch the show or b) they decided to stop being a little bitch and take the heat. No one was killed at the show by the way.

I feel it's the little whiners who are trying to ruin moshing for the rock crowd. Because they're too scared to enter the pit and take a chance on what may come, usually a blow to the head or a few falls on the floor. They think that if they can control the pit by stopping it they won't need to be scared when they try to go into the crowd to get to the front. Because that's what this really is all about, right? To get to the front, which is understandable because everyone wants to be in the front. It's the best view! But in trying to be closest to the stage don't tell someone to stop pushing or get in front of you, because in the end you're trying to do the same thing. Get to the front. Some moshers aren't even trying to get to the front they just wanna push!

There should only be two rules in the pit and that is a) don't go into the pit to hurt people and b) help the injured. If you can't handle the pushing and shoving then get to the back of the crowd cause you don't belong with the big boys.