Mother and Child Connection: Special Journal

A mother and child should always have a special connection. One way to help keep that connection active is what I call the "special journal". This is something I created for my own children and have been using for quite some time. This can also be wonderful for bonding with adopted children and gift children or even re-bonding with a child that you have lost a bond with. It has proven effective for me time and again, so I have decided to share this information.

Materials:
One notebook or journal for each child
one special pen for each child
stickers
craft paper
scissors
glue
Sharpie markers in assorted colors
any other crafting materials you choose

Instructions:
To make this journal, first set out each child's notebook and pen at his or her seat before beginning. You will have already labeled them with the child's name and written a special message to him or her on the inside front page. Explain to the children what the journals are for and let them each know they have a special message waiting for them. Let them know that these are private messages and they must not show them to their siblings or discuss them with their siblings.

Place the other materials in the middle so they can be easily accessed by everyone. Tell the children to decorate the front covers of their journals however they choose. They can use one or all of the items you provide to create their design.

Once the designs are finished, you can put the journals somewhere to dry if glue was used. Once they are finished, give them back to the correct child. Then, talk about where the special place will be for the journal when there is a message. Some ideas could be in a backpack, a dresser drawer, a top shelf in the closet, or even in a desk.

How To Use The Journal Effectively:
The most important thing to remember with this journal is that there are no rules as to what can be written or how often the journal can be used. Whether someone wants to discuss something bad or good, this can be a great way to communicate.

If something bad happens to your child or your child misbehaves and that child uses the journal to let you know about it, do not get upset with your child. Do not judge your child. Be understanding. This is your child's way of reaching out to you. If the child has misbehaved, use the journal to discuss the reasoning behind the misbehavior. Keep your child writing about it. Not only will this be a great insight for you into your child's mind, but it will also help the child to realize that the misbehavior was wrong and why it was wrong. Your answers should include reasons why it was wrong. If someone did something bad to your child, it is also important to keep your child writing about it. It will help to relieve any bad feelings that are associated with the event. If appropriate, go to authorities. If not, just help your child cope. Be supportive and understanding.

Be sure to answer the journal every time your child writes to you and remember to start your own topics as well. Do not just wait for your child to initiate the contact. By starting your own entries, you are letting your child know that you care.

Remember that a simple "I love you" can go a long way.

Bonus:
A side benefit or bonus to keeping this journal is that your child's writing skills will likely improve from all of the practice. This can be especially useful if your child needs extra work in this area. Try asking leading questions about the things your child writes about. If she writes about wanting to be a singer, ask her what types of music she will sing and what kind of clothing she will wear. If she tells you she saw a new outfit she likes, ask her to describe it in detail for you. If he tells you about a new video game, ask him to tell you about how to play the game and what all the characters do. Be creative, caring and leading with your questions and you will soon have a child who is not only able to deal with his or her emotions, but is able to write very well, which are both important life skills.