Motherhood Memory: I Embarrassed My Kids with a Bra

Most assuredly, I have unconsciously (wink) embarrassed my daughters many times throughout our lives together. My motherhood reminiscences would be insignificant if they did not include a few "oh my God I can't believe Mom did that," moments of me mortifying my kids. Here I share my favorite "I embarrassed my kids with a bra" parenting memory.

My girls were about ten and twelve and although they enjoyed shopping with me, there were two things they begged me not to make them a part of; one was a trip to the bookstore because I spent hours there and the other was shopping for my underwear, which they found revolting. I do not know why either...it is not as if they did not wear undies themselves.

More stomach turning than having to stand there watching me plow through the underwear, my daughters practically threw up when I had to purchase a new bra. I never told them I would be shopping for a bra before we got to the store because I loved the element of surprise. I also delighted in the pitiable drama they lapsed into when they saw me heading to that part of the store.

Mothers, naturally encased in an invisible soundproof booth, do not hear the cries of protest while shopping. I explained this astounding mommy mystery to my girls repeatedly, but they were young and never quite got it for some reason. They get the picture now, though, because they are moms.

On this particular new bra day, which I lost sleep over the night before with all the excitement, I had a little extra money to spend, meaning I could treat myself to a "first-rate" bra and not simply a "straightforward does what it needs to" bra.

This of course was going to take time and research, which I knew my daughters, would agonize over. No worry...I slipped into the soundproof mommy booth as I headed to the upper echelon section of bras. There would be no basic cotton for me this wondrous day!

As I studied and read the vast array of boxed bras in the display, I could see my girls' lips moving as they verbally objected to each other about being in the "gigantic bra" section. I could not hear them very well because of the mommy booth, but I think the younger one was so distraught, she even complained about being born to me in the first place.

Oblivious to my kids and the entire world for that matter, I intently read the back of a box about a bra, which would make me feel sexy but comfortable while cleaning the toilet and making spaghetti. I was in lala land at the prospect of an ultra soft lining and lace to boot. It was nothing short of a dream bra.

As I was reading the irresistible tribute to this awe-inspiring bra, I noticed a mannequin shamelessly flaunting the very bra I was ready to purchase. Never taking my eyes from the magnificent read on the back of the box, I reached out with my free hand and softly caressed and fondled the bra on the mannequin. It was then I heard the earsplitting screech of my girls in unison.

One of my daughters dove head first into a rack of slips and the younger one ran screaming to a nearby display of bathrobes. "What the heck is your problem?" I hollered to the two of them.

"I had to feel the bra to see if I liked the material." "Are you embarrassed because I felt up the mannequin?" "Don't worry...you will experience bigger embarrassments I guarantee," I said as I dragged them out of the slips and bathrobes.

My kids have never forgotten this incident and it will always be one of my treasured parenting memories. No matter how many I have to recall...this one surpasses all of them.