Mothers Day: Remembering Our Big Loving Family Celebrations

Looking to Mothers Days past with newly grieving eyes, I see them all as sacred. Our big loving and always growing family would come together at my parents home. We lined the mantle with colorful cards. We filled nearly every living room surface with flowers and gifts. That tradition calls up many wonderful memories. Every Mothers Day with my mother was special, but 1977 stands out as a rare day of laughter, love and tears.

Mother of a "Baseball Team"

My mom, Carolyn, was an old fashioned housewife and mother dedicated to her husband and children. The first 9 children were the original "baseball team." When a few of the older kids left the nest and a young son died, she insisted on adding 2 more to the team. Mom mastered the art of the big family. She stretched meat with stews and casseroles and vegetables from my father's huge garden. Cleaning and child care filled her days, as did more laundry than you could ever imagine.

For Mom, family came before self. Pain was an inconvenience endured while taking care of the people she loved. She'd had 11 labors and deliveries with no anesthesia and no complaints. She was accustomed to pain, so when my mother became seriously ill in April 1977, no one, not even my father had any idea how long she'd been suffering.

"No one is cutting into my head."

After an exam and x-rays, her doctor called for an immediate ambulance to transport her from his office to the hospital. A neurologist explained how a tumor had taken over her pituitary gland. He made surgery sound like a simple but immediate necessity: a cut here, a snip there; but my mother refused. She would have no one cutting into her head.

Mom remained hospitalized for weeks while a medical team developed a strategy for the stubborn woman who refused to let them remove her tumor. She tried not to let us see the suffering, but by then, it was visible in her eyes. You could see pain in every movement. I visited her each day and each night I whispered a prayer that she be delivered from her pain. If anyone deserved a miracle she did.

A Big Family Mothers Day Hospital Gathering​

That's how our large family came to be in University Hospital on Mother's Day 1977. We wanted to have our usual Mom celebration. Fortunately the hospital staff found her fascinating, this woman who had delivered 11 children naturally and chose months of pain over a few hours of surgery. They were kind enough to look the other way as we gathered in her little hospital room. Daughters and sons, spouses and grandchildren slipped in a few at a time, filling nearly every inch of floor space.

All ten children were there that day. My youngest siblings and two teen boys, came with my father. The young adults arrived alone. I was one of four grown children who came with spouses and children in tow. It was standing room only. Just like Mothers Days at home, every surface was filled with flowers and cards and colorfully wrapped gifts. We shared stories, we laughed. We had our traditional Mothers Day.

Our Little Mothers Day Miracle

My mother looked better than she had since her ordeal began. The tightness in her face had relaxed. Her eyes were clear. She moved without agony. The doctors said they hadn't done anything differently, no new medications, no injections. It was the '70s so the options were still limited. Yet her pain had eased significantly.

I don't remember who spoke first, but one of my sisters mentioned how she'd been praying for an end to my mother's pain. Prayer was another tradition my mother taught us. "So have I" another sibling said. The message circled the room. We had all begun praying each evening from the moment her ordeal began. None of us knew the others were doing the same. The tumor was still there, but the pain had faded. It was one small miracle during a very difficult time.

That Mothers Day gave us a celebration with the most wonderful woman in the world and a tiny bit of evidence that united prayers could change things. No, we didn't pray my mom's tumor away. It was still there, but her days got a bit brighter.

Mom continued to refuse surgery, but opted for Cobalt treatments, the technology of the day. They shaved her head and drew a grid where her hair used to be. They fired radiation into her brain every day for a month. They destroyed her tumor and her pituitary gland, but she remained with us for another 34 years.

My Mother died at the age of 80 on January 3, 2011. She left behind a big loving family who will always celebrate her life: a husband of 63 years, 8 children, 26 grandchildren and a number of great grandchildren. (We never did figure out how many.)

Scientists on the Power of Prayer

Since then, scientists have investigated the power of prayer. They've found it may help heal even those who don't realize the prayer is taking place. In 1999, William Harris, PhD published a study that concluded, "Prayer may be an effective adjunct to standard medical care."

"For Carolyn": A Haiku

Source:
My big loving family

WebMd.com "Probing the Power of Prayer"

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/probing-power-of-prayer