Many times in life, often beginning early and into our teens, then into our adult life we allow both true and false information into our conscious mind and it is pushed into the subconscious mind as acceptable fact about our self.
As human beings, we do this with all information in and around our environment and the thought processing we create in our mind. Some information we will become more aware or conscious of what in which we accept as truth or fact as part of a description of our being or self.
How many times in a day when you are trying to find something, complete a task, learn or figure something out and you internally or aloud call yourself a name such as stupid, idiot, jerk, etc? Or make a reference or implication that you cannot be very smart by remarks towards your self such as, "well the light is on but nobody is home," or "how dumb are you," etc.
Unfortunately, habits like these have become acceptable in our society than is healthy for mental, emotion or spiritual well being. Let's take a look at why this habit and it being supported is not to yours or your loved ones benefit.
As an adult, should we habitually tell our self that we are no good, worthless, stupid, etc, then we will consciously and unconsciously believe these messages as the truth about the self and act accordingly.
If we believe we have little worth and doubt our own intelligent, skills and knowledge, then we will we also make poor decisions or at least lesser decisions that will provide a strong foundation for any desired result or goal and result in continual unsatisfactory result or response.
For example, I don't feel secure in my job skills for a position, regardless of my years of experience. I pretend otherwise and apply for a new job, however, as a result, my insecurity comes through in my body language such a either over rigid posture and forceful responses in interviewing in trying to prove myself or poor posture, and poor eye contact and responses that have a unsure attitude underlying.
Often times our communication is relayed in what we don't say, as well as what is said. Body language, facial expression, eye contact or lack of, as well as the intonation of ones voice is how people communicate and much of what we rely on, more so that words alone.
Consider the above example, I am a parent and feel poorly about myself. Human beings depend more widely on physically, visual and auditory examples to immolate in order to learn how to live life and learn in life. This is also why education is set up to stimulate all avenues of the senses. If a child and teens see and hear adults consistently demean them selves and observe how the adults in their lives resolve the choices, be it avoid them, blame others, sit down and look for a resolution together even when it feels challenging or harm others, etc - they will emulate the same behavior. This is natural and when we are feeling positive and demonstrating healthy choices and even when we make a mistake and demonstrate how to handle it, this is all good. This is the human nature of learning, growing, developing and connecting.
This journey is the beauty of it all - our humanness. The other wonderful opportunity here is to also realize that become aware is the primary step in what to do in making the change you desire in going from feeling poorly about yourself and teaching others how to change as well.
Next is just repeating that process; each time you begin to feel badly, just notice, then you can choose to feel differently and talk to yourself in a better, more positive manner. From there you clear the clutter from your mind in order to make better, stronger choices towards your goals and desires and can enjoy the journey along the way. In the process, you are still a wonderful example as well!
Published by Josephine Sheppard, MA, PhD, NHC
Author, Life Coach & Counselor who's contributing articles promote a wholistic approach to self awareness & health maintenance, communication skills & enrichment and mental/emotional health & wellness, as we... View profile
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- If we believe we have little worth, then we'll be more likely to make poor decisions towards goals.
- Often times our communication is relayed in what we don't say, as well as what is said.




