Movie Review - Eclipse (The Twilight Saga, Pt. 3)

I'm not sure a 46 year old man has much business reviewing Eclipse or any of the Twilight movies...but I do have a 17 year old daughter who loves the books and films, so I did shell out my hard-earned cash for the family to see this film on opening day. Thus I feel entitled to share, knowing that I'm not the target audience...although my wallet is the target!

Eclipse is the third in the series of Twilight movies, detailing the tortuous teen romance between Bella Swann (Kirsten Stewart), a brooding, vaguely depressed high schooler, and the vampire Edward and the werewolf Jacob. Bella's true love is Edward (Robert Pattinson), but she also desires that he turn her into a vampire so they can be together forever. Jacob (Taylor Lautner), hot-blooded and hunky, offers her a more "normal" life. Both love Bella equally, but at least at this point in the story, it's pretty clear Bella favors Edward.

This fraught romance is set in the midst of fairly uninteresting political and personal machinations revolving around vampire hierarchy and long-standing resentments between the werewolves and the vampires. In Eclipse , a growing army of newly-created vampires is rising up in nearby Seattle, apparently building numbers in order to come after Bella, and Edward's family. The werewolves get involved, as they rather put up with the "vegetarian" (only drink animal blood) Cullenses than this new group of sadistic killers. There's some question of how involved the vampire leadership is in all this, but frankly, who cares? These stories don't provide a balance between the romance and the action...they tilt heavily and unapologetically towards the romance. The action is secondary.

As with the other two films, the writing is the screen play equivalent of "purple prose" in many respects...lots of whispered declarations of undying love, heartache and promises that can't be met. Lots of gazing into eyes. Lots of hugging and PG-13 rated making-out. Lots of Taylor Lautner without his shirt. Lots of Bella wearing plaid shirts and hoodies...while all her classmates wear far more time-appropriate clothing.

The movie is mildly interesting, but mostly it is annoying. The bad script is not helped by the rather terrible acting. Stewart, who has been good in other things, cannot make Bella a likeable character. She is one of the most annoying teenagers ever put on screen...perfectly self-centered. No one has ever felt love as acutely as she does. No one has ever felt torn as she has. She is the perfect encapsulation of all the worst qualities of teenage girls in love...and the film stubbornly refuses to make an effort to also find the joyful parts aspects of a teenage girl in love. Pattinson simply continues to fail to be credible, and he is not helped but the worst haircut on film since Tom Hanks did The Da Vinci Code...it makes Pattinson's head look 40% too big! He and Stewart really don't generate any real chemistry. Yes, the clasp each other a lot and gaze at each other...but for two actors who are supposedly in love in real life, their passion is pretty inert. Lautner is also not a good actor, but at least he has a lightness about him, a clear realization that he's become a mega-star by dumb luck (and many trips to Gold's Gym), and at least he can bring a sense of playfulness to his lighter scenes. But as with Pattinson, when the script asks him to be pained and tormented, he mostly looks like he has a stomach ache.

The best parts of these movies, to me, have always been the Cullen family. Without diving into detail, they are an amusing and motley crew, with silly but somehow touching family dynamics. They are a good group of vampires...tormented creatures who have helped each other retain all the humanity possible to vampires. Eclipse gives us some background stories on this crew, and I really responded to this group more than ever. Jackson Rathbone as Jasper continues to give the best, most amusing and original performance in the series, and I was so happy to see he was featured more in Eclipse . I would happily see a film centered around his character.

Also, the special effects continue to be sub-par. These films are global phenomenons...yet the poorly rendered werewolves make the whole effort feel like the producers were trying to save every penny they could. Surely someone could actually make werewolves that felt like they existed in the same space as the humans & vampires!

If love these movies already, there's no reason you won't love Eclipse . If you find them a pain to watch, then I would guess your reaction would roughly mirror mine. But I know there's nothing I can say to change the mind of a fan (or foe) of The Twilight Saga...but it's my opinion, and I'm stickin' to it!