Movie Review : Friday the 13th (2009)

Some spoilers, but nothing you couldn't have already guessed. I give this one a 5 out of 10.

The Friday the 13^th series is infamous for the senseless killing of large breasted women and overly hunky teen boys, and this latest installment is no exception. We went to see this latest installment of Friday the 13^th on its opening day. Although I initially thought it would be a mistake to see the film on opening day, it turned out to be quite a fun experience.

Of course the theater was crowded with various assortments of people, a lot of young people and noise. I was aggravated but determined to stick it out. Heck, the tickets were $9.75! I wasn't going anywhere.

The movie started out decently enough, with the first group of victims hiking to camp Crystal Lake in search of a huge patch of marijuana. Let me follow that by saying this movie was very "weed-centric". There are a lot of weed jokes that got some good laughs from the audience along with some copious smoking and harvesting of the bud. Based on the crowd's reaction, today's young folks are obviously more openly weed friendly than I remember. Thankfully all the characters still die horribly. Some things never change.

While camping out by this huge marijuana patch, Jason decides to start picking off our very high, sexed up teens one by one...and sometimes by two's.

This Jason seemed a bit more "athletic" than in the other movies. For some reason, he moved better and in a more brutal and efficient way. I think this was due to some pretty good direction, timing and camera angles. I did manage to pick up another interesting thing about Mr. Voorhees. In one scene, a couple of victims are wandering through Jason's old room at Camp Crystal Lake, and I noted that there were several trophies-including an archery trophy-that gave me some insight into what Jason was like as a boy. This also explained how our beloved killer could throw an axe like a pro and was an expert marksman with the bow and arrow.

Jason captures one of the girls from the first batch of victims who he thinks looks like a young version of his mother, Mrs. Voorhees. He keeps the girl captive in a series of tunnels that run beneath the cabins at Camp Crystal Lake.

In the meantime, another group of teen victims pull up to a lake house owned by the father of one of the soon to be victims. In addition, the brother of the captive girl shows up on the scene. While this plot addition doesn't alter the predicable outcome, it gives Jason just one more person to slice up. While there are some funny scenes as the teens party at the lake house, the outcome is written in stone.

The funny Asian guy dies-although it would be more fun if he lives-and the token black guy get's the only real good cut at Jason just before dying with an axe in his back.

On the breast rating chart, I give this movie about a 5 as well. There were a couple pairs of good breasts, but one set in the beginning that was just a bit too disgusting; this set was shaped like two baseballs smothered in baby oil.

The crowd reacted to every bump and calculated scare tactic, and they laughed uproariously at the half-witted humor. In this sense, the movie started to become fun for me as it hobbled along. It was akin to riding the Racer Roller Coaster at King's Island for an extended period of time. Afterwards I had a headache, felt a little rough around the edges, but was none the worse for wear.

Now I know why the slasher movies continue to be popular. They are made for the crowds of people who will see the movie right when it comes out because they simply have nothing better to do. While there are certainly some good horror movies being made, there will always be these very banal slasher flicks. In a way I'm glad. They set the lower standard.

The only reason this movie even got a 5 on my scale was because I had a pretty good time watching it with a bunch silly people.

My recommendation? See this at the theater with a large group of people. If you miss this opportunity than don't even bother. And get really drunk before hand. You will definitely have a much better time cheering Jason on.