Movie Review :: Larry Crowne (2011) (PG-13)

Larry Crowne is strained, unfocused, and pointless, which is both strange and appalling given the talent attached to it: Tom Hanks, who not only stars but was also the director, one of the producers, and the co-writer; Julia Roberts, who co-stars; Nia Vardalos, the other half of the screenwriting team. Between them, they have three Oscars and six Oscar nominations, and don't even get me started on the Golden Globes. How could any of them have believed that this film was ready for theaters? Is it possible the story was this disappointing even in the screenwriting phase? Something must have gone wrong somewhere along the way. How else to explain actually including a joke in which a college slogan is, "Beaver fever -- go catch it"? I can only hope that this is merely a lapse in judgment from which they will speedily recover.

Hanks plays Navy veteran Larry Crowne, who loses his job at a K-Mart-type store on the grounds that he never earned a college degree. Hoping to prevent this from happening again, he enrolls in a local community college. Three things happen to him during the course of the semester. First, he befriends an annoying free spirit named Talia (Gugu Mbatha-Raw), who likes making fashion statements and, like Larry, drives a scooter. She's part of a scooter club, which is led by her jealous boyfriend, Dell (Wilmer Valderrama). She also has a habit of giving people names that better suit them (Larry becomes Lance), barging into other people's homes, and overseeing unasked-for makeovers and unwanted rearranging of furniture. Apparently, she's into feng shui. Who the hell does she think she is?

Second, he takes an economics class and does brilliantly in it. He does so well that it helps him in the process of foreclosing his house, which he can no longer afford to live in. The class is taught by a grating scholarly stereotype played by George Takei; he pushes his own textbook at every opportunity and sternly takes away cell phones from his students, most notably from Larry, who regularly has texting conversations with Talia. Only in this film would they get away with a line about how only dummies use smart phones.

Third, he takes a speech and communications class, which begins at 8:00 am and has only nine additional students. I took a similar class ten years ago, and I can say with complete confidence that it was nothing like this. If it had been, the teacher would have been reported almost immediately for lack of focus and compassion. It's taught by Mercedes Tainot (Roberts), who hates her job because she doesn't feel as if she's making a difference. When she arrives in class, she passively writes the word "care" on the blackboard, which I believe the audience was supposed to find funny. She's married to a professor turned writer turned blogger turned internet porn addict (Bryan Cranston), an absolute loser of a man. Although we see her drinking in only a few scenes, it's obvious that she's an alcoholic and in desperate need of help.

Over the course of the movie, she and Larry will fall in love. How it happens is not made apparent to the audience. If you've ever seen an average romantic comedy -- and Lord knows I've seen plenty of them -- you'll know that there's a process at work, a sense that their relationship, however implausible, is building itself up through a series of events. We don't get anything like that in Larry Crowne. We don't even get a basic understanding of why they were attracted to each other in the first place. They just suddenly ... fall in love. Are we just supposed to blindly accept their arbitrary romance? How can we when the film is all about making a fresh start in life, which by definition involves planning and actions?

Other characters seem to have been included for no reason other than ludicrous comedy relief. Consider Larry's neighbors/friends, Lamar and B'Ella (Cedric the Entertainer and Taraji P. Henson), who are always having a garage sale. Seriously; in every scene that they're in, piles and piles of old, used junk clutter their front yard, and Lamar takes great pleasure in haggling with his customers as he puffs away on a pipe. Never mind the fact that there's nothing in it to smoke. If he thinks it makes him look more dignified, he's sadly mistaken. And then there's Mercedes' friend/colleague, Frances (Pam Grier), who appears in exactly three scenes and says little if anything necessary. Her only apparent purpose is to supply Mercedes with routine dialogue about how all women sooner or later will find themselves lonely and heartbroken.

When it was over, I began to wonder: Was the film about Larry's romance with Mercedes, or was it about his affinity for economics? In either case, what have we learned from the experience? I'm well aware that some movies aren't supposed to teach you anything, but you see, the ads for Larry Crowne used the word "timely" as a review blurb. If a movie is timely, I expect it to actually say a little something. What makes watching this movie even more of a disappointment is that, all throughout, it's obvious that lurking somewhere within is a story that works. All the right ingredients are there: An unemployed man who goes back to school, a teacher who has lost faith in herself, a chance for them both to get back on track. Why Hanks and Vardalos couldn't make something out of this, I have absolutely no idea.