Moving on From an Abusive Relationship

He was extremely charming and on any given day he could knock the socks right off of any female. Witty and chivalrous and a deep voice from the heavens. Strong and opinionated , tall dark and handsome. Academically he lacked some skill but he was always sure to make up for it in other departments. We met and fell in love. Everything was so quick I barely had time to blink before we were living together. I had never asked him about his finances, his morals or his opinions on the upbringing of a child. I never asked him much really. He woke up every single morning pretending to worship the ground I walked on and always told me how much he cared.I never had women in my face because he was a self-proclaimed "mack". According to him all he had to do was turn on the charm and all would be well. He never slept with these women, he claimed, he merely spoke and they volunteered their valuables and money. I used to believe him because they were all unattractive and why would he cheat on me with one of them?He took me shopping and gave me large sums of cash "to play with" as he liked to say. We got lost in our web of lust and soon became like glue, tight as spandex.

Forward one year into the relationship. I am broke and in a hotel room wondering, how in the world did I end up here? I look over and there he is getting ready to try and go make "something" happen again fro the day. I still believe he loves me more than anything in the world because he gets up everyday and tries to make at least 20 dollars so we can smoke some weed and eat some food. He schemes and preys on women and occasionally men to makes sure we alright. He is a man with pride ,he says, and no one will take that from him. He will never work for THE MAN again and would rather starve for a few hours while he comes up with some new scheme then go work for minimum wage. Right now he is making sometimes 20 to 30 dollars a day and it begins to show that he is losing it on the inside. I was expected to be grateful that someone would care for me to such an extent. I was supposed to not question but rather wait until he told me what he felt I needed to know. I was repeatedly told to stay indoors and work on my writing because he truly believed that I would make it one day and "take care of the both of us" , he joked. It all started to get to me , all this nonsense and not being able to go out and do the things I wanted to do. I wanted a real apartment of our own. I wanted to get my hair and nails done like I used to. He began to see my need for the outside world and soon turned disrespectful and violent. I would get accused of being around certain stores or places where he felt I could run into my ex-boyfriends. He hit me. "The first time it was more of a shake though", he said. He apologized immediately afterwards and would beg for my forgiveness. If I left him he would not be able to go on and might as well kill himself. He made me feel bad for not appreciating all he had to offer. All his abuse and name calling was just me provoking him and if I just sat back and stood quiet this relationship would last.I never called the police because he would tell me about the three day rule and how he would just get released and make his way to wherever he knew I could possibly be. Besides where I'm from you're not supposed to call the police because they never really care.

He lied all the time. Big stuff. Little stuff. He would just lie.I became somewhat of an insane girlfriend detective and would find numbers and even once voicemail messages from an older women crying about being stood up and how she was expecting that date he promised. I lost it. I confronted him and the end result was the same. I got beat up for being so nosy and going through his things and not believing him. He broke that phone and it just continued from phone to phone. I stopped hanging around family and friends and became very reserved. When I would try to tell someone they would downplay the situation and call it his way of showing love. "Girl just go home and give him some" they would say. My life became a recurring nightmare. I believed in all my heart that I would die this way. I was unafraid of the world yet so scared of him. I never knew that someone whom I could love that deeply would turn on me because of the choices he was making.

I have moved on . It took me a long time to realize that I was worth more than that.I have continued to pursue my writing career and am very thankful for the lesson he assisted me with learning. I believe he is still unemployed and scheming on women and living from house to house. I told this story because there are millions of women in emotionally and physically abusive relationships as we speak. Some of them will make it out but most of them will not. The judicial system does absolutely nothing to make sure that these men are punished accordingly. There are so many deaths and injuries that could have been prevented if someone would just pay attention. It is extremely hard for these women to just up and leave these men for most of them have no income of their own and would be forced to a life on the streets if they did. I urge you all to pay attention to the many signs and to not ignore someone when they tell you that they are in danger. Google.com is a great way to do some research on your local domestic violence laws and signs to look out for. Lets stop it now before we no longer read the happy ending to a story but rather read the end to a life that never truly began.