Moving On From a Bad Relationship

I had a good childhood growing up. Loving parents, family and great friends. Some still with me through the pain and suffering I've encountered in my life. As good as it sounds I had good close family ties , and good friends, I never encounted what life outside would endure to me. In my early teens, I met a man at my very first job. That relationship was cut short when I broke it off with him after less than two months. I broke it off because I had refused to have sex with him, when he kept pressuring me. In the end, he had decided to take matters into his own hands with me and I was "violated" of my rights on employee grounds. That resulted him being put in jail for what he had put me throught and me going to counseling for awhile.

As a young teenager, I didn't understand relationships much, but I knew I was interested in guys. I didn't expect my first boyfriend to violate my rights, let alone hurt me.After overcoming that first horrible relationship, I had moved on with my life. I had found another man who was very sweet to me, and we ended up being married, and had a child after. That marriage ended in divorce years later, only because we had fallen out of love with each other. Few years later, I had met once again a new man. As with any new relationship, noone knows what to encounter, or what will be of. For myself, I became the victim of what is known today as 'Domestic Violence'. It didn't happen overnight either. I know now, it wasn't my fault for what was endured to myself. Back then, I didn't understand what I was going through, and so I remained. Through the emotional,mental,verbal and physical abuse, I had overcame alot during those few years with this person. I endured his path of anger and torture everyday of my life. I lost touch with my family and close friends during this time.

It was hard enough they couldn't convince me to leave, I had refused. I thought this was LOVE. As easy as it sounds, most of you will ask, "Why didn't she just leave?". Before our son, I would have told you i loved him. Now looking back, I don't know what I was thinking. I should have had hit that road that first year we were together. It didn't get better when I had discovered I was pregnant. He didn't believe he was the father, and put me through hell during my pregnancy. I left him for a few months, staying with family for that time. Living with family was not a smart thing for me to do. I had put my family through a horrible ordeal. The phone calls he made at all hours of the day and night. The harrassing me of how much he claimed his undying love for me, to if I even cared back, I would call him. During our seperation time, I discovered he had cheated on me with a friend of ours.

He had denied the allegations, which I expected. It had crushed me, and being pregnant obviously didn't make it better. My family had pleaded with me to leave this man and move on, keeping the baby. For whatever reason I was thinking back then, I couldn't do it. We got back together months later. We worked through our problems and our son was born into the world. I had thought that he would change his ways and get the 'help' he needed after our son was born. I expected our life to be happy and content once our son was born. One day, he came home drunk. Too drunk actually. I had been home all day alone with our son and my daughter ( from first marriage ). I had been informed thru close friends that he was spotted out that day with the lady he had cheated on me with when I was pregnant with our son. When confronted that fateful night, he had still denied the rumors, again. We fought, we yelled, police were finally called only when I couldn't handle it and I had feared for my life, after I noticed I was bleeding heavily from his hands. Police were no strangers to us back then, and upon seeing myself from his hands, the police were tired of it. He was arrested, and placed in jail for awhile.

During that time, I should have packed my bags and taken the children with me. I didn't. I made him feel like a low scum of the earth during that time he spent away. He confessed to lying and cheating on me during the times we seperated. He seemed so sympathic at that time, I bought it. We got back together once he was released. We got married later that year, which sent my family to cut all ties off with me at that point. Some of my close friends couldn't handle it and cut their ties off with me as well.Things took a turn for the worse, a year after we were married. I had expected things would be finally great with us at this point. It wasn't about even staying with him for the sake of my children. I was petrified of my own safety while being with him. I couldn't get over he had cheated on me more than three times, and he knew I wouldn't forgive that. The final straw came and made me wake up when we had lost our home. All that time, I had thought he was being a responsible adult and taking care of the financial problems, and he wasn't.

By this point in my life, I was done. The abuse was horrible enough to endure, with the mental and verbal abuse, let alone physical. After losing our home, my daughter came to me one day and had said something to me that had stuck with me for good. It changed my life. She was young back then, and was horrible enough she had witnessed the hands of her stepfather enduring that kind of pain to mommy. She had stated to me she was terrified that he would kill me one day, and she would be without a mommy. It broke my heart so bad, it only took me a few days to realize this wasn't worth to die for. I broke free of the man, but not without the pain, suffering and deep emotions that were endured. I had to do alot of learning and understanding for myself. I went and sought the help of counseling, and since that time I am a better woman today, wiser, stronger and much more aware of the dangers. Among other help I had sought for myself and my children back then, I have been able to reclaim my life back. I can now say I have learned alot about myself, and I can state that I have 'moved on', to be FREE.