Moving in Before Marriage

It is the mecca of all decisions in a young persons life: Moving in with your significant other before marriage.

Now, if you are in a happy relationship and are still the phase of being giddy over your newly named other-half than moving in together sounds like the perfect ending to your own personal Disney fairy tale. However, when all your boxes are unpacked and you've already settled on a name for your new goldfish you may be faced with the facts: Your living with a complete stranger!

So, How do you make your two lives mesh together before you even have that pretty little ring on your finger? Some would say its that old line of compromise that ends up never making either of you happy, but from personal experience I can tell you it takes a lot more than that. There is no easy answer!

I moved in with my boyfriend after we had only been dating for about a year. He had just made a significant career change from mechanic to police officer and he was my prince charming in a cruiser! So, we decided to buy a cute little starter home in small town and start our lives together. Every girls dream right?

The first sign that this was going to take a little more work than I had anticipated was the way he brushed his teeth! He is one of those wasteful people that always leaves the water on! It is the most baffling thing to me why on earth you would do that! When you move in together you notice all the little things and they drive you crazy. Another prime example, the way he always leaves his pajamas on the floor next to the shower when the hamper is five feet away!!

If this sounds like a situation you have gotten yourself into let me tell you how to deal. Although it is tempting to scream at him than call his mother and ask her how she could possibly raise such a slob, the real way to create habitual happiness is to just laugh! These differences are the spice of your relationship - After all how boring would it be to have someone exactly like you? So, when the sexual prime of your relationship dies down the only thing you guys will have to talk about is exactly bothers you so much about the other person! Chances are my boyfriend will never put his pajamas in the hamper or shut off the damn water, but I can tell you our house would be a hell of a lot more boring if he didn't!

When people told me relationships took work I shrugged my shoulders and thought that was just something unhappy people ranted about to justify their lives, but I have come to find out it really does! It takes the maturity to be able to step back and really absorb what your significant other is talking about. It takes a lot to be able to laugh at someone else's shortcomings and realize that is exactly why you love them. My advice is to hold off on packing up those boxes and wait till you've really decided that dirty clothes and water wasting is something you can live with! Go to college, live with your best friends, have the time of your life, then settle down with your prince charming. J