Moving Out of Your Parent's Home: My Experience and Advice

I am writing this article because I went through the same situation that many of you who are reading this may be going through. Some of you, as teenagers, may be contemplating moving out of your parent's house, for a variety of different reasons. Maybe you want the freedom of having your own place, or you don't want your mom setting a curfew for you anymore. If so, this article is for you. I get a lot of questions asking how I did it, so before I give advice, I'm going to share my story.

MY EXPERIENCE

My mom was an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, and it seemed as if my parents were always fighting. Home life was awful for me most of the time, from when I was younger, up until a few weeks after I graduated high school. It was especially bad during my senior year of high school. I couldn't even tell you how many times I would come home to my drunken mother passed out on the couch at 4 in the afternoon. It was tough for me, but as I got older, I knew that I didn't have to deal with this forever. I couldn't wait to graduate. As soon as I turned 18, I wanted out. I had met a wonderful guy at the grocery store I worked at, and luckily, he was there for me during most of this. After about 10 months of dating, we started talking about moving in together. 3 weeks after I graduated from high school, I packed my things and moved into a nice sized condo about 10 miles from my parent's home. At this point, all of my college plans were put on hold, because I knew I would have to work in order to pay for my new place and the bills that came with it. When I moved out, my parents were upset, but they saw it coming. They knew I was unhappy, and that I wanted to start a new life on my own. Most of my family was disappointed that I decided to move in with my boyfriend, and a few of them sort of "disowned" me for it, but the ones who really mattered to me stayed in my life and supported my decision. I was thankful for the support, and I feel as if it made my relationship with these family members stronger.

It's been 3 years since I moved out, and I proved to everyone that I can do it on my own, including my parents. My mom is now a recovering alcoholic, and has been clean for over a year. It took me a while to forgive her for what she did to me in my life, but I put it all past me, and I am proud of her for seeking treatment. I wouldn't have a mom today if she didn't get help when she did. I'm thankful that I am able to get to know her all over again. My relationship with both my mom and dad is definitely better than it's ever been.

I get complements all the time that I am mature for being 21 years old, and that's nice to hear. I know that I am a good person, and I am constantly trying to better myself every day. I'm not out partying every weekend like other people my age do, and I have a great job and a good life. I successfully completed my Associates degree online through Ashworth University, and I plan on going back to college for my Bachelors degree in the next few months. I feel like I had to grow up faster than other people my age, but I don't regret a thing. My boyfriend and I are celebrating our 4 year anniversary (dating) in October, and we couldn't be happier. Just because moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend sounds like a bad choice to some people, it can be done and it doesn't always turn out in a break up, like people think.

MY ADVICE

So now that I've shared my experience, think about why you want to move out. Deciding whether or not to move out of your parent's home can either be an easy decision or a tough one. It all depends on your personal situation. Do you get along with your mom and dad? Do you have open lines of communication? Or, are you constantly fighting because you want a later curfew? Maybe you are going through the same thing I went through, dealing with an alcoholic parent. In my opinion, no child should have to deal with that, no matter how old they are. Once you turn 18 years old, you have the option of leaving the nest and finding a place of your own. Your own place equals freedom, but it also comes with responsibility and bills. Do you think you are ready to make that choice? This is what you need to know.

First, you should start saving money as early as possible before you move out. If you already have a job, that's great. If not, I suggest getting one. Apartments cost money, and you might not be as fortunate as I was to have someone living with you to help you out at first. Next, look on the Internet or in the newspaper for available rentals. At a young age, you probably will not be able to buy anything without a co-signer (like a parent), since you are just establishing your credit. Unless your parents are helping you out, don't rely on them. If you don't want to live on your own, see if a friend would like to be your roommate. Be cautious about moving in with a boyfriend. Just because I did and it worked, doesn't mean it will work for everyone. If you happen to break up, you may be stuck with all of the financial responsibilities.

Once you find a place you'd like to see, contact the landlord and let him/her know that you'd like to see the apartment/home. Ask lots of questions and make sure everything is understood. Getting an apartment isn't the easiest of tasks, so make sure you understand what's going on. You'll most likely need to sign a lease, and provide a security deposit along with the 1^st month of rent. A security deposit is often times equal to one month of rent, and it is required because if you break or ruin anything in the apartment, the landlord can use your security deposit to fix anything before new renters move in. If you leave the apartment in good shape, you just might get your security deposit back when you move out. It's important to find out whose names you want on the lease. Are you sharing the apartment with a boyfriend or girlfriend? A friend? Both names should be on the lease, so that one person cannot back out on the other.

Now it's time to move in. Pack your things from your parent's home, and take everything to your new place. Get some friends to help you, if your parents are not willing to help.

Getting utilities in your name may be a challenge, since you may be required to give a security deposit to obtain service. Contact your landlord for the companies in your area. He/she will give you a list of the utilities you are responsible for paying. The utilities you may be responsible for include electricity, water and sewage, natural gas, cable TV, telephone and internet. In addition to these monthly bills and your rent payment, you'll most likely have other bills due each month as well. This includes car payment and insurance, renter's insurance (which I totally recommend), credit card payments, personal loan payments, garbage pickup fees (if applicable). Keep in mind you'll need money for grocery shopping and entertainment costs, if you like to go out. Going out to dinner, to the movies or to the mall might not be possible anymore, since you now have bills to pay.

Now that you're moved in, be responsible. Since you're renting, take care of the place. Anything you break or destroy, you're liable for. Make sure you go to work or school, pay your bills on time, and don't party too much! Moving into your own places comes with a lot of responsibility, and it's not just about being free from your parents. Think about your options before you make the decision, and be sure that you are prepared for any positive or negative consequences.