"Mr. Right" is Out There and He's Waiting for You... So What?

Friends, moms and marrieds will always tell you, "He's out there, just wait - you'll find Him one of these days."

Who says?

And why do I need "Him" to be out there? What's wrong with me as I am?

Guys don't go through singlehood looking for "Her" - why do we make that the focus of our existence?

Yes, I would like to have someone to take me dancing on Saturday and then to church on Sunday, someone to cook for, someone to help with the dishes and laundry, someone to snuggle with when watching a movie. Someone with whom to discuss the movie when it's over. Someone I know I can call if I get a flat tire. Here in Texas we don't get too many cold nights, but when there is one it would be nice to have someone other than the cat to keep me warm.

I know I'm a rarity. I'm intelligent, articulate, fun, funny. I can appreciate opera, karaoke, Shakespeare, Beavis and Butthead, Stephen King, Bridget Jones, Harry Potter, Tchaikovsky and Tenacious D. I own my own house and car (paid for); I have a degree and a career (and almost have my first graduate degree); outside of mortgage and student loans (which are just a part of life) my debt is less than $2,000. I have no children. I am a cheap date (unless you want to take me somewhere fancy; I won't argue with you.) I don't smoke, don't drink; I read, I think, I can carry a conversation in a variety of settings. I am healthy and attractive. Why in the world no idiot has snatched me up yet is beyond me.

Yes, I'm sure there's Somebody Out There who's a "perfect catch" just like me. And I'm sure we'd get along. But you know what? I don't think I have the emotional energy left to hunt for him.

Why do I need to "wait for Him"? Why do people insist on encouraging me to do so, giving me false hope.

"Good Guys" are out there; I know, I've seen them. My sister married one. My mom married two (one at a time). However, they are few and far between. And there are better things I'd rather do with my time than eternally search for my unreal expectation of Prince Charming.

Of course I want "love" and companionship. Who doesn't? But I'm sick of being lied to, by the guys who've sold me the song and dance, and by all those souls full of good intentions who think they are being helpful by feeding me this false hope - by selling me (and insisting on) the fairy tale romance, you are validating my unrealistic expectations. On more than one occasion, this has led me to jump into unhealthy relationships, just because I'm tired of looking and I want to believe the marrieds when they tell me I'm going to meet a Great Guy.

Yes, I know I should know better. I know it's my fault I jumped into bad relationships. But all your insistent "Oh, he's out there" really didn't help, either.

Why do I need A Guy to be whole? To be normal? To be happy? Why am I not good enough as I am? Why am I not good enough on my own, just by myself?

You mean well, I know. And hey, maybe from where you're standing, smug and married, you do truly believe that there is a Someone for everyone and that I just am not trying hard enough to find my Him, or that I'm trying too hard and I need to let Him show up on my doorstep (big red bow optional). But you know what? I'm damn good enough on my own - and so are all other smart single women out there.