Mrs. Wilson and the Math Test

Very early on in first grade, Mrs. Wilson gave us a math test -- fifty questions of addition and subtraction -- to find out what we knew.

As my good fortune would have it, Mrs. Wilson's seating chart placed me in the very back of the class. Also in the back of the class, to my left, was the other Joel.

The tests were handed out and we were given orders to proceed. I took a look at the sheet and saw the fifty questions and a whole bunch of "+" and "-" signs. I glanced over to the other Joel and at that moment he glanced at me. He looked panicked. I may have looked panicked too.

The other Joel whispered, "Which one goes up and which goes down," referring to the mathematical symbols and what happened to numbers when you performed those operations on them.

I thought for a moment and said, "I think '-' goes up and '+' goes down." With that simple logic, the solution to "5 - 3" would be 8, and the solution to "5 + 3" would be 2.

We both easily completed our tests within the required time, and Mrs. Wilson sat at her desk grading the results.

I was confident and relaxed. I could imagine myself growing up to be a famous mathematician or scientist. Newton, Galileo, Einstein, and Joel. It kind of had a nice ring to it. Perhaps I could even ...

I was snapped out of my reverie when I heard Mrs. Wilson firmly command, "Will the two Joels please come forward." She said it in such a way that I knew she wasn't about to hand us the Nobel Prize for Science.

The other Joel and I stepped up to her desk.

She looked me squarely in the eyes. "Did you boys cheat?"
I was aghast. I would never cheat! The thought of cheating was abhorrent to me. I would rather die than be accused of cheating.

I firmly looked her back in the eyes and said, "No ma'am."
Then she looked me even more squarely in the eyes (I'm not sure what that means but it sounds dramatic) and demanded, "Well how do you explain ... this!" In a rather dramatic move, she revealed two sheets of paper -- our tests -- and placed them side by side. They were each marked with a " - 48 " ... I knew enough to realize that meant we had each incorrectly answered forty-eight of the fifty questions.

I replied firmly and confidently, "We didn't cheat. We just helped each other."

She scowled at me with a look that would curl the hair on a pit bull.
It occurred to me at that moment that a) I didn't really know what 'cheating' meant, and b) I didn't really understand, prior to that moment, that on tests the test takers are not supposed to help each other.

Mrs. Wilson shook her head and then barked, "We do NOT help each other! Now go sit down and try not to cause any more trouble for the rest of the day."

Incidentally, the reason we only missed 48 questions on the test was because, of course, two of the questions involved adding or subtracting zero.