MTV's "Teen Mom" News: Your Weekly Gary and Amber Drama Update

Well of course we're not going to get a week off from the requisite Gary and Amber drama.

Looks like Gary got himself a lil' blonde cutie to dance with when he went out clubbing near Indianapolis the other night, which prompted Gary and Amber to officially break up for the 5,982,810th time. Second verse, same as the first...

Amber's dad blathered on to Radar Online, saying that Gary's making Amber behave like a lunatic, and Amber's not a violent raving beast until Gary pushes her buttons and threatens to take Leah away.

Okaaaaaay, Papa Portwood. Whatever. I think you missed the earlier episodes where she bragged about being a street fighting party girl, and the cops getting called on her for almost attacking her neighbor, and the clerk in Walmart she threatened. But it's all Gary's fault...gotcha.

Apple/Tree and all that...

Also, Amber's probably not going to skate on the domestic violence charge, because Anderson police announced that they would subpoena the unedited footage of Amber beating the holy hell out of Gary to conclude their investigation. Lordy only knows what that contains.

It was also reported that Amber hasn't seen or spoken to Leah now in over 15 days. I guess it's because she's still 'moving' and stuff. Maybe she's caravanning across the desert or something. Didn't know U-Haul in Anderson, Indiana took so long to pack up a mattress and some piles of laundry. But what do I know? I'm just a hater.

So if Amber isn't with Leah, what the heck is MTV filming right now? I'm sure they can just loop the hours of footage of Orangina laying around they already have.