Multiple Religions in One Household: How We Did It!

Our family is composed of six individuals representing three different religious beliefs. In a world where religious differences cause wars, is it possible for people with different religious beliefs to live together and get along as a family without bickering, put downs, and unrelenting debate? We think so! Here is how we peacefully co-exist, respecting each others choices while choosing to agree to disagree.

Our current family configuration is me, my girlfriend, and our four kids (two teens and two preteens). The adults are both pagans with somewhat different world views but not so different as to cause conflict. One of the teens is a pagan also. Both of the preteens are Christians, and the other teen is an atheist. In the past, my family has also included other Christians of different denominations and a Satanist. As we believe in consensual living and respecting each others well thought out choices, how do we go about the rituals of day to day life, holidays, worship and socialization with other of our beliefs, and important ceremonies to mark life's transitional moments?

Although it is not the first thing thought of when worrying about religious differences, day to day life is probably the biggest challenge. How you view the world, God, and the afterlife subtly influences everything your do. Everything from books read to casual discussions about the lives of loved ones leads to more complex discussions that are influenced by our beliefs. In our family, it is important that everyone listens to each other and shows respect even if they disagree. When one of our children choses to start the day with Bible reading and prays before each meal, there are no raised eyebrows or disruptions from the rest of us. We realize that this is important to her, and we support her in her activities.

When the pagan members of the family, head outdoors for a moonlit ritual, the Christians refrain from proclaiming the error of their way or preaching about Hell, and just quietly abstain from the celebration. The atheist teen does not feel that it is necessary to fill our email inboxes with scientific evidence that there is no God. We all know that we have given our choices lots of thought, and that arguing and debate are not what we need.

Holidays, believe it or not, are a much smaller challenge. It is easy to find reasons to celebrate, and none of us have any problems celebrating a holiday not usually associated with our denomination. Even if we are just celebrating the fact that we are a family and have each other, parties are fun! It is fun to learn new things and to develop traditions that work well for all of us. Periodically we all sit down and discuss our holiday celebrations including things we like and things we don't. Then we adjust as necessary to best meet the needs of everyone. In our house, you will find enthusiastic Solstice celebrations along side Christmas, and Eostar and Easter parading side by side.

Regular worship is not a problem for us solitary pagans, but it is important for our Christian children to have a community to worship with. As their parents, we take them to church, and even stay and watch so that we can remain involved in this part of their lives. They have chosen to attend a church that is nonjudgmental to those in alternative relationships so that we can feel comfortable. They believe that love not judgment was the message of Christ and strive to live out that ideal.

Matter of fact, the real key to making this work is love. Despite our varying religious beliefs, all the members of our family believe that we should all love one another. True love may guide, but it does not judge. We each live our lives as best as we can loving each other and working to improve our world.