My Analysis of MY Best Loved Associated Content /Yahoo! Articles and Why They Have Such Page View Pizazz

Why do some of my AC/Yahoo articles get so many page views, and why are others duds? Heck if I know. I*'m sure there are some darn good reasons though, and I just wish somebody would tell me what they are. Oh well, here's my best guess:

My Pet Skunk and Weird Skunk Facts 8886 page views overnight

This is my most popular all time article on AC/Yahoo and it's a first-nighter: "My Pet Skunk" received over 8000 page views overnight. What, was it Skunkmas Eve or something? Unknowingly I probably published the article on the night before the Annual Stinkerama, an olfactory event and pet skunk show. This would also explain why the article went into an after-Skunkmas slump. Even skunk afficionados (or "skunkers" as we affectionately call them) do not want to think about skunks more than once a year.

How to Win a Pumpkin Decorating Contest 6521 page views

This is only the fourth article I ever wrote on AC/Not-Yet-Yahoo!-Back-Then. Here is the link: I can only attribute its allure to the fact that I had the good sense to put Halloween in the headline, the pumpkin picture is absolutely adorable, and other brilliant moves on my part.

My Religious Conversion and Archie Bunker 4,521 page views

This too started with a nice first night spurt, and has enjoyed slow steady growth since. My analysis? Any time you can combine "my religious conversion" and "Archie Bunker" in the same headline, you deserve thousands of page views.

Car Keys Locked Inside the Car? Don't Panic 3,427 page views

I'm thinking lots of people must lock their keys inside the car and are up a crick so to spick. They turn to my article in desperation hoping to at last learn a practical way around the cursed behavior only to be met with this advice: Have a dozen duplicates made of your car key and hide them everywhere: in your hubcaps, behind your parking lights, embedded under your skin, placed under rocks all around your house, and sewn into your bras.

Pat Robertson: Out of Context or Out of His Mind? 3168 page views

This article was a first-nighter with lots of immediate page views, as well as 94 incredibly impassioned comments about Pat Robertson's take on the earthquake in Haiti. I almost hesitate to mention this article, as I would rather not wake all the sleeping comment giants. But in the interest of truthfulness, this article pulled better than Susan Boyle, Miss America, Weird Pet Raccoon Stuff, or African Giant Black Millipedes.

So What Have We Learned About Page Views?

Analysis of the preceding articles makes it absolutely clear that all you have to do to achieve massive page views is go to Crystal Ray's profile page and plagiarize. Just kidding, Crystal!! Crystal Ray now has 19,655,600 page views on 2452 pieces of content, meaning she averages about 8000 page views per article. And not a skunk article among them. You can find out more by reading Theresa Wiza's interview with Crystal here.

So What Are Your Top Five Page View Producing Articles?

In this article, Mike Powers reminded us that his good AC friend Leroy Coffie suggested that AC writers publish a list of our "top five page view producing AC articles, in order to promote them and further increase the number of PVs they get." Here is Leroy's article:To All Associated Content Writers: What Are Your Top Five Articles on Associated Content? Maria Roth analyzes her top five articles in this article, including one that now has about 32,000 PV's, putting many of us to shame (except Crystal Ray of course.) So how about you? Time for you to write an article about your page views. Of course you'll want to link it to my article

Okay, here is more of my stuff.
More of Mike Power's stuff.
More of Maria Roth's stuff.
More of Crystal Ray's stuff. (Like she needs the page views.Just kidding, Crystal!)
More of Theresa Wiza's stuff.
More of my stuff. Oh I already did that!.

OK I'm tired of doing live links now. I'm getting a headache from all this blue ink.