My Awesome Life as a Single Mom

I became a single mom after divorcing my husband in 1991. While there were many down times and I cursed the father of my children more than once, all these years later I realize how awesome it was to be a single mom.

I can never say it wasn't hard raising my kids on my own. The typical money problems, the teenage screams of "You're the worst mother EVER!" and the challenges of dating were always there. Would life have been a little easier if I wouldn't have celebrated 1983 by turning 18, graduating high school, getting married, having a daughter and getting pregnant with my son? I didn't plan it this way but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

When I met new people through the years, I would often get expressions of sympathy at my plight of being a single mother. "You must be so lonely" and "I could never do that". It wasn't a choice for me - I love my children more than life itself and could never have entrusted their well-being to anyone else.

I was a homemaker until my divorce. Suddenly, I was pushed into the role of primary care-giver AND breadwinner with erratic child support payments. After being there every day of my children's lives, I had to find appropriate before- and after-school care plus summer care while I worked outside the home. I couldn't wait to pick up my kids after work so we could have our evenings together.

While I did make some mistakes when I was dating, I always tried to be more selective when it got to the point of introducing a man to my children. They kept my eyes on the greater prize - do I really want this man involved in the day to day lives of my most precious gift?

There really are some advantages of being a single parent. I never had an argument with my children that involved the phrase "But Dad said...". My word was the only one that mattered. I had control over the television remote and I took a sadistic joy when I cranked up the stereo at noon with "Paradise City" to wake up my teens that liked to sleep in. When I wanted to try out a new restaurant, I always had a ready date.

As my children grew into adults, even with the trials when they spread their wings, they often reminded me that I wasn't such a screw-up as a single mom. I can even think of two different occasions when they used the word "awesome".

In October of 2004 Trey and I attended Tim McGraw's 10th annual Swampstock festival in Louisiana. He was willing to go to the all-day event but grumbled a few times about hating country music. After he had sung along to every single song and we were leaving, Trey casually said "You pick the most awesome places to take me."

When Allison created her Facebook group "The Axis of Awesome" she invited me to be one of the charter members.

Moments like this allow the awesome of being a single mom outweigh any trivial trials through the years.