My Back Story

Can a leopard change it's spots? No and neither will a pedophile. Ever wonder what a child molester is thinking? Ever wonder if they have a say in what they do or does their minds just take control? I married a child molester and didn't even know it. I trusted him, I believed him and I loved him so much that I would of walked to hell and back for him. My life that I worked so hard to get was shattered and so has my daughter's childhood. I can't explain the pain, the guilt, the anger I have inside me. But I am a fighter and I WILL SURVIVE this and so will my daughter and my other two children. I feel everything happens for a reason and me marrying this monster was God's way of stopping him. He had many victims and ruined many lives and relationships, but he will not win, my heart is broken,but not my spirit. I now know that my life has a meaning, a purpose. I want tougher laws and more help for victums and their families. My husband got 40 years for what he has done,but others get away and become repeat offenders. I am on a crusade to fight for all the innocent children out there. My daughter suffered through this for 5 long years and my niece suffered for over a year, but others have suffered longer. When will this ever stop? How can we change the laws? My husband was arrested for child molestation in 2002, he didn't get arraignment for 5 years. He sat a free man, continuing to molest innocent children in the mean time. I was so stupid, so naive, I knew he was arrested for it, but after hearing his side of the story(the mother of the child accusing him, his girlfriend at the time, and father of the child,were in a bitter custody feud and my husband and his mother told me that he was being used as a pon to win custody and I, like a fool, believed him and his mother). I truly in my heart thought he was being falsely accused, plus after he was arrested nothing ever came about it for 5 years, we didn't hear anything, I later found out that the case was supposedly dropped. I blame myself, for trusting him, for believing in him and most of all, for loving him, but I never knew the truth. I never seen anything, he hid it so well from me. He acted like the loving husband and caring father that I always wanted and longed for. He had me under his spell and I feel like such a dam fool, an idiot. I feel horrible that my child has suffered through this and was too scared to tell me, she also didn't want to hurt her baby sister, she didn't know any better, plus he told her if she told anyone, the both of them would get in a lot of trouble, she didn't know any better. All she wanted was a fathers love and lived in a nightmare to get it. My faith has been tested, but not broken. I feel in love with him and I hate to say it, but he changed my life around. My life was in shambles after my dad died back in 1998. I began drinking and using drugs. I dropped out of high school and by the age of 21, I was a single mom of two and homeless, living in a motel. After I met the monster, we got married, had a baby together and I went back to school and got my GED, took a few college classes and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I am not the poster child for salvation, far, far from it, but I did my best to live a good, Christian life and I thought I found my soul-mate. My children called this monster daddy, they loved him as much as I did. I was so distraught, so devastated, so hurt, so confused, but I knew God would walk me through this, just like He has in the past. I believe God brought me to Georgia, so he, my husband, would finally be caught. He's been doing this for 20 years, it took my daughter and my niece to go through hell to finally stop him. To make matter worse the newspapers and news station reported the wrong facts and they made it look like he got away with what he done to my child, like the charges were dismissed. He plead guilty to 2 out of 6 charges. one for my niece and one for my daughter, but in the news stories, it makes it look like it was only for my niece and it mentioned his 25-year-old niece, even though she couldn't file charges against him because her statue of limitations were up(That needs to be changed).What could I do? Nothing, but sit back and feel victimized all over again and look like lairs.There were people who didn't believe he did all he did, including his own mother and they believed him over us and the news stories made them believe them even more. All I know is that life has gone on, we have moved on. I made my group Mother Against Child Molesters to help me cope and get support and advice and it's done so much more then that for me. I have helped many women, chidren and even men with my group and I am so very proud and humbled for that chance to make a difference. Now all I want to do is to continue making a difference. I hope to one day start support groups for my cause, where we can come together in one place and be face to face and talk, hug, cry, a human touch is much better then a computer's monitor. Now you may have a better understanding of my mission and why I am a strong advocate for women and children and what I have plan for the future and why I am asking for your support, encouragement and most of all, your understanding. Thank you for reading. Patti, Founder of Mothers Against Child Molesters.