My Best Girl

Some children are just naturally hilarious. They are so funny without meaning to be that when they try, they just can't be as funny as when it's accidental. My daughter, Rhiannon is like that. For nearly fourteen years, this kid has given me more laughter than most people get in one hundred years.

With a first child, most parents are nervous and prone to panic. I was no different. I know I'm overprotective, and I really try not to ruin her life with it. However, she manages to survive it without too much effort. She somehow manages to have a sense of humor, too.

One of the memories that I love to recount is the time when she was being slowly weaned off the bottle. I had put a stop to the bottle, but when I went back to work, and I was working the evening shift, her father had started sneaking her a bottle at bedtime, so she would go to sleep earlier, since he had to be up at an unholy hour in the morning. This set us back for an extra year on breaking that habit.

I had started the substitution of water for milk, and she thought that was a crock of bull. She kept asking for milk. Her father told her that the water was clear milk. She gave him that look that only females can give to men. Everyone knows that look. It basically translates as, "Don't try to B.S. me, bub!" Then she pointed to the bottle and disdainfully sniffed, "Wa." Her expression changed to, "Are you really trying to sell me that?" I burst out laughing and have never let him live it down even though we've been divorced for over thirteen years, now.

When I met my hubby, Rhiannon was four, and she was this little blonde, blue-eyed, fine-boned angelic-looking girl. Looks are deceptive! He was instantly charmed, and she liked him, too. Mike's sister had four sons, and Rhiannon was a granddaughter for his parents and a niece for his sisters. Again, she had no chance to be anything but spoiled rotten.

After he and I became serious and made a commitment to each other, he moved in with us. It had only been a few weeks, and the three of us were enjoying a rare evening at home, together. We were sitting on the couch, and though there was a video playing for Rhiannon, she was never the type to just sit and watch television.

We had a game called yucky kisses where we would just give kisses on the cheeks. It began during a time when she had gotten a little stingy with kisses, and since I had seen that stage in other kids, I knew her contrary little heart would just love to give kisses if I pretended I thought they were yucky. I was right.

We had been playing that, and I wanted to include Mike, so I said, "Let's give Mike some yucky kisses!" She thought that was a great idea, and he knew how it was played, so he pretended to be grossed out as we kissed his cheeks. Well, Mike has a lot of facial hair, including sideburns. Rhiannon kissed him on the sideburns, then said, "Ack! Hairball!" (This was inspired by the part in Disney's Aladdin where the genie kisses the monkey and coughs a hairball.) Needless to say, Mike and I were beside ourselves laughing, and I had to call my entire family and best friend to relate that story. Hairball has been one of his nicknames, since.

About a year later, Rhiannon had decided that she needed a brother. Then she proceeded to think about names for said brother. She decided on "Buren." At the time, we lived in a town called Van Buren, named after President Van Buren. We pronounce it: beer un. Hey, we're Southern. When I told Mike, he laughed and said the middle name would have to be Pizza, since that would cover two of his favorite things. When I told my older sister, she loved it. When we finally did decide to have a baby and the ultrasound revealed his gender, my sister started calling him Buren and still does.

I will never forget the time she was describing some dramatic event for my mother, sisters and me. Whatever it was, it had startled her. In her most serious voice, she told us, "It made my blood turn pink and scared the Barbie out of me." I don't think she was even five years old when she gave us that little gem.

This young lady is still unbelievably funny. Half the time, it is still unintentional. I was truly so fortunate to have this child. It is of these moments that I think when I need to remember my patience. I am a seriously lucky mom.