My Big Fun Frugal Wedding - How I Had a Unique, Fun and Relaxing Wedding Without Taking Out a Second Mortgage

In 2002 I was married for the second time. My husband and I had an almost non-existent budget we also had a vision of having a unique wedding. Lets all be honest you can only hear the Ave Maria, a reading from Corinthians, eat bland chicken, and pick apart the same pasty mints wrapped in tulle while doing the chicken dance so many times per wedding season with out losing your sanity! We wanted a relaxed, fun atmosphere for our wedding. Here is how we did it.

First I chose a fun theme that I could work with and my soon to be husband would not feel too emasculated by. Powder blue or lavender and lace are not my thing. Swans, doves, bells, and little cherubs make me gag so those were out. This had to be different and so my sunflower dream was born. Black, white, and sunflower yellow became our color theme. My bride's maids wore black sundress style gowns purchased from an online wedding discounter. The dress I ordered from the same place had to be returned twice due to color and size issues so I ended up with a very simple long white prom dress that looked like a wedding gown. No one knew it was a prom dress and it saved me tons of money because formal dresses tend to cost less than a dress sold specifically for weddings. My husband and the men in the wedding party wore black suits, a white shirt and a yellow tie. When shopping for ties I could not find a plain yellow tie that did not cost an arm and a leg, I happened to be in Wal-Mart one day and I found a Sponge Bob Square pants tie. The tie was all yellow with Sponge Bob's face at the very bottom and it would not be seen with the suit jackets on. Plus it just fit with my husband's silly sense of humor. One of our groomsmen did not own a suit; we were able to rent one from the tuxedo shop. My children were all in the wedding and I was able to purchase all their wedding attire on Ebay at deep discounts. We were so pleased with the flower girl dress we ordered from one seller we ordered from them again a few years later for an aunts wedding.

For accessories I made my own. I made my bouquet from the life like silk flowers sold at Michael's. Normally I think fake flowers are ugly and tacky but you really can find some nice looking ones these days. Before making the bouquets I looked at TheKnot.com as well as FTD's web page to get ideas on what I liked. I made myself a small traditional bouquet and the smaller bouquets on sticks for the bridesmaids. I made my own ring pillow from a small amount of black silk like fabric, I put white lace around the edge and adorned the top with some white ribbon and a sunflower, it looked very unique yet had the same attributes as a more traditional ring pillow. I also made a flower girl basket for my daughter. The basket was just white and I wove appropriately colored ribbons through out the basket. We dried our own flower petals to make a colorful mix. You may be able to ask your local florist if they would sell you scrap flowers or flowers that are not perfect enough for selling for this purpose. Just hang a bunch of flowers of your choice upside down in a dry place. You could use fresh as well for this.

For a location we wanted to relax and where else are you more relaxed than at home. Our back yard with a rented tent, tables, and borrowed chairs made the perfect location and it was cheap to boot. To keep things fun and festive we had bouquets of balloons in the right colors on each table. We used simple dollar store table clothes in black on our tables since it was a casual wedding. For decor I decorated a plain arch with sunflowers and tulle, I also made a family unity candle using a very simple white pillar candle, some ribbon, and a fake sunflower. I still have my candle and it looked very nice. To play on that theme I purchased clear, glass, flowerpot shaped votive holders, which were sold on deep discount at Michaels. My bridesmaids and I hot glued a ribbon bow and a small sunflower on each one. Instead of the tacky bundles of pastel mints I ordered customized wrappers on Ebay to put on mini Hershey's bars which were scattered on the tables. The design chosen matched our invitations which we printed ourselves with a kit from the craft store. The only draw back with these were they had to be stored in the freezer before being put out to keep them from melting too fast since we were outside in June. I find that guest books are usually pretty lame and who really looks in those things after a couple weeks pass? Instead I purchased a picture mat from the craft store and some archive quality gel pens. Inside the mat I placed a note explaining to our guests that we would like them to sign it and leave us a message. This mat now is framed with a cute picture from our wedding day and we actually look at it and enjoy the memories as it hangs on our living room wall.

No wedding is complete with out food and drinks. We did not have enough money to hire a bar tender so we purchased some basics, along with some beer, soda, and water. We told close friends and families we would have limited drinks available so if they wanted something specific to feel free to bring their own. This worked well for us although some might find it rude. For food we chose to have a good old-fashioned cook out. Friends grilled hamburgers and hotdogs that we purchased on sale on borrowed grills. Close friends and family helped me cook side dishes. We had so much food that in the end we sent tons of it to a homeless shelter and family members ate for days from the rest of the leftovers. Our cake was a splurge item. I poured over cake books and websites looking for a design I liked. Do not over look floral websites for cake ideas either; FTD's page is where I found my design. If you are not a skilled cake baker you will need to find one, print out your dream cake and bring the picture to them for a price quote. If the person is reputable they should be able to show you pictures of their past work. Our cake ended up being three layers frosted in white with a white design piped on. This was decorated with yellow flowers and sunflowers. The flowers for the cake were purchased from a grocery store florist who is a member of FTD; they were able to get me the flowers I wanted at a lower price than a local florist. Food was served on plastic plates and cake was served on black and yellow paper plates from the dollar store.

If you are wondering about music on a budget and for a mixed audience you have come to the right place. In this day and age of music sharing websites and digital play lists there is no reason to hire a dj if you have a decent sound system and an extension cord. Think back to the old days when people used to make "mix tapes" this is what you will want to make. Choose a variety of music to suit your tastes as well as those of your friends and family and make cd's to play continuously through out the reception time. If you have a special dance in mind place that on it's own cd and have some one who is your designated dj work the sound system for you. We wanted some live music as well so we had one of our groomsmen play an acoustic solo on his guitar during the unity candle. It was very nice and that was the point that the guests' tears began to flow. A student band or local church may also point you in the direction of a musician who might play for free or for a small fee.

There are some things you cannot skimp on like hiring a minister or Justice of the Peace and rings but because you saved so much on everything else you will be able to splurge. When planning your own wedding you will have your own dreams, tastes, and splurges which will come together to make a wedding that is more reflective of your personalities than the average cookie cutter wedding. So take it easy, put the credit cards and personal loan applications down, and you could have a fun and frugal wedding like ours that friends and family say is the most relaxed and fun wedding they have ever attended.