My Biggest Secret: I Am a Breastfeeding Militant

Before I got pregnant with my first child, I vowed that I would never breastfeed any of my future children. Formula was just as good, I thought, and breastfeeding looked so inconvenient. No way. I was not going to let myself be tied down to a baby all the time.

Then I got pregnant, and at my first obstetrician appointment my doctor asked if I planned to breastfeed or use bottles. Before I could think, I blurted out, "I'm going to breastfeed." I was stunned, but I knew in that moment that it was the right decision. The words flowed through me as if I had always known what my choice would be. My motherly instinct took over, and I have never looked back from that moment.

My daughter is now 9 months old, and still nursing. Since she was born, I've been doing a great deal of research into all things parenting, including breastfeeding. I've learned so many things about breastfeeding, things that most parents are unaware of, and I've been trying to share my knowledge with everyone who will listen. Because of this, I have been labeled as a "breastfeeding militant." At first I recoiled from this label - I'm not militant, I'm just a supporter. I'm not militant, I'm just trying to spread the word. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am militant. And I'm proud of it.

As a breastfeeding militant, I understand that there are situations in which breastfeeding doesn't work out. A small percentage of moms don't produce enough milk for their babies. A few mothers take medicines or have hazardous jobs that could make their breastmilk unfit for their children. Many moms begin breastfeeding, but don't have the support or knowledge base to help them through a tough time, and they think they have to stop nursing. Many moms are under the mistaken impression that formula is just as good as, or better than, breastmilk, so they choose formula for convenience, not realizing the impact it can have on a child's health. None of these moms are at fault, and my promoting breastfeeding is in no way intended as an attack on these moms. But I also know that many mothers who believe that they can't breastfeed are mistaken -- they can breastfeed if they have the right information. So I want to help give them some of that information.

As a breastfeeding militant, I don't necessarily think that I am a better mom than those who use formula, and I don't think that moms who use formula are automatically bad moms. I know that sometimes people have the wrong information. I know that sometimes things happen that can't be helped. And I know that there are myriad other decisions that moms make every day, and that it's the sum of all of those decisions that determines "good" parenting. I also know that it is useless to make a mother feel guilty for past decisions. It is far more important to educate her so that she has all the knowledge she needs to make future decisions - the past cannot be changed. I am not interested in guilt and regret.

I, like most breastfeeding militants, acknowledge that I am not perfect. I do not know everything there is to know about breastfeeding. I do not know everything there is to know about parenting. But I do try to gather as much information as I can, and spread that information to other moms so that they can make a more informed decision.

While I do not judge moms who use formula, I do firmly believe that if a mother knows all the benefits of breastfeeding and all the risks of formula, if she has no medical concerns that would prohibit her from nursing her children, and if she is home with her baby at least part of the time, and still chooses formula because she just doesn't want to be bothered with breastfeeding, she may need to rethink her priorities. I firmly believe that a child's health and well-being is far more important than the comfort and convenience of any adult, especially his parents. I firmly believe that parents should do whatever we can to ensure that our children reach their fullest potential in every way, including breastfeeding, plenty of interaction with our children, playing, singing, reading books, providing new experiences, and showering them with love. But I believe all of these things because I am a parent, not because I am a breastfeeding militant. I would hope that all parents would agree that our children's well-being far outweighs any discomfort or inconvenience we might face.

So yes, I am a breastfeeding militant. I will proudly carry that label as a part of my identity. Do not misunderstand me - I do not judge those who make choices different from mine. But I am very passionate about breastfeeding, and I will shout from the rooftops if I have to in order to spread the good word.