My Biggest New Year's Resolution for 2009

It's a new year already! Time really flies! It seems like only yesterday that it was the beginning of January, and here it is again! It's ridiculous! At this rate, I'll be eighty-five by next month. (Sigh!)

Every time the new year knocks at my door, I answer it with a well-pondered resolution. Since time is a non-renewable resource, I vowed years ago to spend it very carefully. This year, my New Years Resolution is this: "I'm going to focus on improving my health." The reason I chose this one is that I can't accomplish anything good for my family or my community if I don't feel well. If I feel sick, I tend to focus my attention upon myself, instead of focusing on the needs of the people around me.

In my pursuit of better health, I have crafted five strategies that will lead to this end:

FIRST, I will not skip meals. I am a recovering anorexic. I used to skip meals because food was one of the very few things that I could control. If I could learn to do without food, I could learn to do without almost any other necessity that I couldn't attain.

I couldn't control my income because my husband is disabled and is on a very small disabled pension. It amounts to a yearly income of $7,644. It pays the bills, but very little else. We've had to learn to raise our two girls on what's left, about sixty dollars per month. This is for gasoline, a few scant household supplies, and emergencies.

The availability of clothes is another area of our lives that I can't control. Clothing is a luxury for us. We can't afford to buy clothing in retail stores OR secondhand stores. There are two public dumpsters in a nearby town, however, and we've been fortunate enough to pull bags of clothing from them when people discard their yard sale inventories. We go through them and see what we can wash and use. (The situation gets especially bad during the winter, when sweatpants and sweatshirts are desperately needed.) The kids' wardrobes have come almost exclusively from dumpsters. The only time we buy retail items is in the summer, right before school starts. "Back-to-school" time is especially stressful for us because there's never anything in the budget for uniforms or school supplies. We usually have to borrow money at a check-cashing place in order to fulfill this task. We regret it the following month, however, when we have to pay back what we borrowed, because THEN our monthly budget is even LESS than $60. Fortunately, our church is filled with wonderful, caring people who demonstrate their love for us by making sure we have what we need. Very often, they've asked us to update them on the girls' sizes so that they can purchase uniforms and even school supplies for them. It's a huge weight off our shoulders.

People tell me that I should get a job, but I live in a part of the United States where unemployment is rampant. Companies are closing. People are being laid off all around us, and jobs are almost impossible to find. My gasoline budget is twenty dollars per month. That's all I can afford, and I couldn't get to a job for a month on one tank of gasoline. I'd run out of gasoline after a few days and get fired before I received my first check. My gasoline is used for paying the bills and picking up medicine for my husband at the pharmacy. He takes a lot of medicine as he has multiple ailments, including insulin-dependent diabetes. As I write this, he also has a broken back. Taking care of him is a full-time job, and he can't be left alone for very long because of his tendency to fall. If I were working, I have to hire someone to sit with him, which would take the majority of my money.

Food is the one area of our lives that IS in good shape. We receive Food Stamps, which is super because on sixty dollars per month for four people, we wouldn't survive without them. We buy good, healthy food, and it seems to be a source of stress relief for my husband and my daughters. It's the one indulgence that they CAN afford.

Food was the ENEMY for me, however, as I was battling anorexia. As I said before, it was a matter of control. If I could learn to do without food, I could learn to do without almost any other essential. After riding out the hunger pangs for so long, I reached a point at which I rarely ever became hungry. I remember marveling once, after finally eating for the first time in a long time, that after eating only half of a small baked potato, I felt like I had eaten a HUGE Thanksgiving dinner. I was absolutely STUFFED after eating what amounted to a few tablespoons of food. Unfortunately, the human body is not designed to operate WITHOUT food, and along with the anorexia I had to deal with chest pains, lightheadedness, nausea, sleepiness, and overall lethargy.

It's difficult to be anorexic and Southern Baptist at the same time. Our congregation is renowned for its abundance of fabulous cooks and its frequent potlucks.

One of my most precious sisters in Christ, Rita, was painfully aware that I was battling anorexia. She had seen my weight fall consistently and was extremely concerned. She reminded me that my body was a temple of the Holy Spirit (I Corinthians 6:19) and I didn't have the right to abuse it. However, I was under the impression that God was extremely displeased with me and that I didn't DESERVE to eat. Our tithe to the church should be $64 per month. This would leave us a grand total of $0.00 to survive on. I saw myself as "robbing God" (Malachi 3:8) because I was selfishly trying to provide for the needs of my husband and my daughters instead of giving ALL of our money to the church and plunging us into inescapable destitution. Since I was robbing God, I considered myself a criminal, and criminals deserve punishment. The punishment that I chose for myself was a merciless withholding of food. As my health began to fail, I coped by learning to see myself as another person, a criminal who DESERVED to feel the ravaging effects of a slow suicide. I didn't seek medical attention because I couldn't justify coming to the aid of an outlaw. Unfortunately, the cumulative effects of deliberate self-starvation also had the consequence of making me too weak to take care of my husband or the children.

Thankfully, I was studying my Bible one night and encountered a scripture that told me that it was OKAY for me to eat. This lifesaving verse was Ecclesiastes 5:18. I've written this reference on the refrigerator door as a reminder.

SECOND, I will drink plenty of water. I did some research and found out that a good rule of thumb is to drink eight eight-ounce glasses of water per day. A two-liter bottle is equivalent to 66 fluid ounces, which is just a tad over my goal. It's easy to fill a two-liter soda bottle with water and make sure that it's empty by the time I retire for the evening. (No, I will NOT cheat by pouring it down the drain! Shame on you for even THINKING such a thing! LOL!) I have a few soda bottles around. When I was battling anorexia, my blood sugar would bottom out, and I'd pull myself from the brink of unconsciousness by taking a big drink of regular cola. The combination of sugar and caffeine were JUST enough to rescue me temporarily. One thing I've found is that I can watch a television program and take drinks of water during the commercials, whether I'm thirsty or not. Ironically, I HAVE found that when I drink water, I get thirsty more often. I don't have diabetes (I've been checked for that.) It's more like I've jumpstarted the part of my brain that signals me when I become dehydrated. There's only one drawback to drinking two liters of water per day: until the bottle is empty, it's best for me to stay in the trailer, close to the bathroom!

THIRD, I will exercise for 30 minutes per day. This goal is actually not difficult to accomplish. Oftentimes when my husband and I are at the dump looking for clothes, we'll find a piece of exercise equipment that has been discarded. We lift it into the back of the pickup and take it home with us. Tom has a knack for fixing things. Sometimes, there are only minor things wrong with the equipment we salvage. We picked up a treadmill, for example, that had had the power cord cut off of it. Tom replaced the cord, and it's been running like a champ ever since! I LOVE the treadmill! I set it to a nice, comfortable walk and I can exercise right next to the woodburning stove. The weather is never an issue because the treadmill is INSIDE. I also have a "flyer". It's a blast to use! I enjoy the feel of my legs swinging back and forth and my arms moving as I work the handles. I love it because it produces no impact on my joints whatsoever. The third piece of equipment we acquired was a stationary bike that has handles, so when I'm pedaling, my arms are going back and forth as well. I LOVE it! What I can do is rotate pieces of equipment, so that I'm using a different one each day. I also find that it helps to keep my favorite selection of music running while I'm exercising. I've created a special CD of (don't laugh!) Disco music (I SAID not to laugh!) that runs for about thirty minutes, which is plenty of time to get my blood pumping and get me primed for the day. (I grew up in the 70's, okay?)

FOURTH, I will not neglect my spiritual health. Daily Bible study is CRITICAL in making necessary adjustments to my attitude and actions. I was disappointed when we had to cancel our satellite service for financial reasons, because I had been watching a lot of wonderful Christian programming. However, I've found out that since we have a DSL Internet connection, there are certain of my favorite preachers that broadcast over the World Wide Web. If I watch in Quicktime, I can sit in front of the monitor and take notes, just like I did when we had satellite. This way, I don't miss anything. I can still keep up with the lessons and then run references later on the notes that I've taken. Bible study is fascinating, and when I can't afford the gasoline to get to church, I can still study right here at home, thanks to the Internet.

FIFTH, I will improve the health of my brain by exploring and developing the many talents that God has given me. I've learned that brain neurons are grown every time something NEW is learned, so continually stretching my intellectual capabilities is ESSENTIAL for maintaining healthy brain function. I'm going to continue to write books, write and publish music, do woodworking, cook, actively participate in Sunday School and discipleship training, read, watch stimulating lectures via YouTube, hone my digital photography and videography skills, catch and release the many wild birds that find their way into the trailer, and marvel at the number of deer that I see crossing the road when I'm on my way to church. The list will get bigger, I'm sure, but this one's a good start.

What's YOUR biggest New Year's Resolution?