My Brother and I

The wind whipped our hair over our eyes as Tim and I raced our bikes down the sidewalk. "I'm gonna win!" I shouted. "Oh yeah? Look who's in the lead now," Tim hollered back as he pedaled faster. He screeched to a halt at Joe's Ice Cream Parlor. "Beat ya," he grinned. "Not f-fair!" I panted. "You got a head start, and besides, you're older than me and you've got longer legs." He rolled his eyes.

"You treating this time?" I asked as we walked into Joe's. "I don't have much money." He raised an eyebrow. "This time? I don't recall you treating me before, hmm?" He paused. "No, you're on your own, Kid." I hated it when he called me that. He waved for me to go in front of him. I peered intently at the chalkboard above the counter. "C'mon," he gave an impatient motion. "We haven't got all day here, you know. And besides you always get that disgusting bubble gum flavor anyway. Not like you ever make a different decision." I sighed. "Yeah, I know...but that candy corn special sounds awfully good." He grimaced. "That's even worse!" I raised an eyebrow. "Just let me pick what I want, ok? Besides it's not like you're paying for mine or anything." After much deliberation I ordered my bubble gum flavored cone. Tim ordered a Heath Crunch - like he did every time we went to Joe's, which was at least three times a week. Not very original, if you ask me. Hey...at least I deliberated before making my choice even if I did always order the same flavor. We didn't share much conversation as we munched our treat. He never was one to talk and I was too busy storing up all the bubble gum pieces to one side of my mouth TBCL - to be chewed later.

As we rode our bikes back home, I reveled in the delight of the savored bubble gum pieces and pondered our relationship a bit further. The more I thought, it seemed to me that my brother was kind of like the bubble gum - not that exciting at first, but oh so sweet once you got down to the goodness inside. At least, that's what I was thinking that time, but on a day-to-day basis, it just wasn't that simple.

The next couple of weeks saw fewer and fewer rides over to Joe's. Tim just didn't seem to have time to hang out anymore. Or maybe it was more like he wanted to be around me less and less. He had plenty of time for his friends, but whenever I mentioned the fact we hadn't gotten our favorite cones in a while, he'd just say, "Hey later, Kid, ok?" It just wasn't the same anymore. We had drifted apart - not just in our schedules. We never talked anymore at all. Before it had been pretty sparse conversations here and there, sometimes with a little big-brotherly wisdom thrown in, but now we never talked anymore. I say never...not unless you count him asking where his keys were (they always seemed to go missing for some reason - because he never set them in the same place!) or me asking him if he had taken any phone messages (I can't think of one time he has ever remembered to tell me a friend called).

My brother continued to get more and more withdrawn. Pretty soon he didn't even hang around with his friends anymore. "It's just a guy thing. It'll change," I thought. Life did change, but not the way I thought.

My parents began to get concerned. "It's just not like him to stay in his room all the time and not even show up for meals," Mom observed to Dad one night at supper. Then Tim began to be feverish and pale. He just got sicker and sicker. Much against his will, my parents took him to the doctor. Several tests were run. The results were startling. "Stage Four cancer," the doctor pronounced. "I'm very sorry, but there's only one option - chemotherapy. It should extend his life by about four months. Without it, I can't even guarantee that you'll have two months left with him." Cancer? Tim was dying and I hadn't even noticed. I felt ashamed of myself and determined to do whatever I could do to make the last few months of his life happy.

In the long, arduous days at the hospital, I insisted on visiting Tim every single day - no matter how much homework I had. Typically nothing could keep me from my work because I was striving for the very best grades possible. That didn't even matter to me anymore. All I cared about was Tim. Although he wasn't awake most of the time, I read to him, prayed over him while he napped the days away, cried by his bedside, pleaded with God for some miracle that would bring Tim back to us.

Amazingly, after five long months of strenuous chemotherapy treatments, the doctors informed us that there was no sign of this killer disease. Tim had been healed! I was thrilled, but rather sad realizing that Tim and I would probably never be close, no matter how much I wished for it to be that way.

The other day Tim suggested heading over to Joe's. I was surprised. "You sure you feel up to it?" I asked. "Yup. I'm better now. But I think maybe we should drive over this time and save the bikeriding for a little while." I grinned. "Sounds good to me! I've sorely missed my bubble gum cone." He grimaced. "Not that flavor again!" I laughed. "Ok, ok. Just to make you feel better I'll order something different this time." He raised an eyebrow. "And the sky is green and the grass is blue...mmm-hmm." "You'll see," I smiled back. We drove off toward Joe's.

When we arrived, he turned off the engine. With a grin he asked, "How 'bout a banana split?" He looked really hopeful. Unbelievably, a banana split sounded perfect. "We're on!" I exclaimed. "Hey, my treat this time, ok, Tim? I mean, you've been so sick and all," I offered. "Ok, you win," he smiled.

After ordering, we sat there eating our split at a side table, reminiscing about old times - before Tim almost died. "I was really scared there for awhile, Tim," I admitted. He turned and looked at me. "You know what, Sis?" He had never called me "Sis" before. That was a big improvement over "Kid"! "What?" I asked, as we continued to savor the banana split. He sent me a smile. "Those times you visited me in the hospital - you know when you read to me and everything? Well, I actually was awake most of the time. It just took too much effort to open my eyes or say anything." I was surprised. I had no idea he'd been awake. "I got to thinking about our relationship. I'm really sorry I haven't been the best brother to you. I'd like to change that. And you're in luck - that means more trips here to Joe's." I smiled. "You mean it?" "I sure do. You know, Sis, you're the best. I wouldn't trade you for the world."