My Cardiologist is an Angel

My cardiologist, Dr. B., is an angel. I know this, because when I go to his group's headquarters for an office visit, and I look at a group photo with him in it, there is this glimmer in his eye that gives him away. And the head of his group, Dr. G., is the spitting image of (an Indian) St. Peter. However, these are not angels welcoming you to Heaven, rather they are trying to do everything humanly possible to keep you from going to Heaven, or wherever your final destination may be.

The cardiac ward is like the passenger lounge in an airport terminal, except that everyone there is hoping to miss their flight. Occasionally however, someone does "take off". When I had my first (and only) heart attack (although Dr. B. keeps referring to an earlier one that I have no recollection of), I was admitted to Beaumont Hospital, in Royal Oak, Mich., on a Wednesday, and Dr. B. did a catheterization (hereinafter referred to as a "cath") the next day. That evening I had the unusual privilege of being able to choose between an angioplasty with stents or a coronary bypass. I believe that my primary care physician, Dr. M1., had a hand in arranging this. Being the cowardly type, I chose angioplasty. Although a bypass is more permanent, being that it is open heart surgery it is also much more invasive. I was glad I didn't choose this option when I later heard of side effects such as "pump head".

People usually don't get to choose between the two procedures. I remember during one hospital stay hearing a doctor tell the patient in the next bed, "You have three choices, bypass, bypass, or bypass!" By the way, cardiologists are not to be confused with heart surgeons, who are a different breed entirely. Bill Frist, the former Senate Majority Leader, is a heart surgeon, although I'm not sure how this qualified him to diagnose Terry Schiavo's condition by watching a videotape. Although cardiology is a specialty in internal medicine, cardiologists tend to be fairly single-minded. My (tasteless) joke is that if a cardiologist sees a person lying on the ground, and if he bends down and determines that the person has not suffered a heart attack, he will step over the body and continue on his way. (Just a joke!) During one hospital stay, I thought I might be developing cellulitis where the IV tube was inserted. I remember getting a big long lecture around midnight from a Resident, saying how it was not a good idea to prescribe antibiotics until they were sure there was an infection, due to the danger of developing a resistance to the medicine, etc. When Dr. B. arrived the next morning, I showed him the (possibly) infected area. He said, without missing a beat, "OK, I'll prescribe an antibiotic. Next?"

Anyway, getting back to the treatment of my heart attack, Dr. B's colleague, Dr. M2., did an angioplasty with stents the next day (Friday). Since Dr. B. had done the initial cath, he "owned me", so to speak. He did an angioplasty with stents a few weeks later, after which he said we were done with such procedures. Unfortunately, this turned out not to be the case.