My Cup Runneth Over

Nobody Likes A Sourpuss
Mother's have handed down this tidbit of wisdom throughout the ages. No one likes a sourpuss! We have been taught that if we can't say anything nice we better not say it at all. When any child grimaces the following admonishing can be heard around the world in every language. "Go ahead, your face will freeze like that"! My own mom used to like to throw in her own brand of this warning with, "you're not funny, your face is"! I'm still trying to find the logic in that. I'm sure it's in there somewhere. Thankfully, she's still around so I could ask her and let you know later. In any case, we have been raised to be nice. To keep, not so nice things to ourselves. If we weren't happy about something we pretty much had two choices.
We could: A) "tell it walking" or
B) tell it standing there even though, "I don't want to hear it" was listening

In essence we learned to "grin and bear it". Even the weather was something we had no right to complain about. Not in New England. If we don't like the weather here we are told by a myriad of weather reporters to, "just wait a minute". Having been taught there was no use, "crying over spilt milk" I learned to suck it up. "Shake it off", "walk it out", "get over it" and "chill out". Having incorporated these "pick yourself up by the bootstraps" guidelines I have encountered a problem of oppositional proportions. I am now an adult that must forget all of these often quoted and ingrained words of "old wives" and their tales. Why? Because complaining as an adult is totally "in".

It Never Fails
The adult overdosing on negativity is perhaps a belated rebellion to all those times youthful pleas were shot down with a quick quip meant for us to "stow it". I find there are more unhappy adults in general than moderately happy ones. Many people expect outcomes to be poor when faced with a challenge. They have that Eeyore Attitude and the monotone voice to match. "It never fails", "it figures", and "why me" are commonly heard when I eavesdrop on unsuspecting strangers holding court in public places. My inner child is screaming, " your face is going to freeze like that and why are you crying over spilt milk, get over it already, I don't want to hear it!"

My Cup Runneth Over
You should see the grief I get when I walk around with my cup half full. If there is a bright side I am looking for it. Oh, don't get me wrong, I have issues. We all have our stuff to deal with. I have stuff but why should I heap my stuff on your stuff. I want to count the good things that I have happening and I dwell on those things. I like laughing. I like being funny and silly and using my humor to get through some of that stuff. My cup running over sometimes tends to get other people wet and they don't like it. I'm raining all over their pity party. They set the event up so carefully, too. Out comes the fine tea cups and linen napkins. Dainty little finger sandwiches all set up on a silver tray. Each one represents a catastrophe. I don't like dining at those parties. I can't swallow other peoples minor problems day in and day out. It doesn't sit well in my stomach. So, usually I do not RSVP. Someone can start it with, "you would never believe what my mother in law said to me yesterday"? I'm knowing what she said because I've heard it over and over again. I counterattack with a positive happening that I am absolutely over the moon about. I let my cup runneth over until I rain that party out. I am quite sure at that point that my Pollyanna Attitude is underappreciated.

Kill Them with Kindness
Yes, I am passive aggressive when it comes to turning down the volume on a whiner. I don't have the patience for a constant complainer. I do have compassion for people that are experiencing true difficulties. There is a difference in my book. Since this is my book and I'm writing it I get to express my thought on this. I have encountered many people that have experienced more than their fair share of woes. What I find is that these people have learned often times how to appreciate the littlest ray of light in thier lives. I marvel at how they can put the emphasis on thier blessings however meager and not on thier burdens. My goal in life is to emulate that same attitude. I fall short of the mark very often in this regard because it is a challenge to change my way of thinking. What helps me keep my cup running over and not just half full sometimes is to stay conscious of my inner dialogue. Rather than become argumentative and annoyed with an Eeyore I kill them with kindness. I let them know how horrible it must have been for thier child to come home with a "B" and not an "A" on the days math test. Then, I offer how fantastic the day before was for me because my three year old grandson pooped in the potty. I gush on and on about how much he was celebrated with clapping and fanfare. The look on his face as he tried to pick just one car sticker out of the fifty he had to choose from. What is my true message in the scenario. I am letting the person know what I think the important things in life are to me. I wonder if they realize the comparison I am trying to make. They cannot find anything to celebrate in a "B" grade verses an "A". Short of perfection is unacceptable and therefore they will never be happy. What could they possibly think of someone who is still celebrating a small poop a whole day later? A "B" in the hand is worth two poops in the potty in my book!