My Depiction

She looks at me and seems so confused-

I'm not sure because I'm not looking at her-

It's impossible too- because the room is spinning, time has stopped, My equilibrium is f---ed- and I feel sick because my heart just dropped.
I can't say I'm in love- With what?
I can't see.

I feel you getting closer to me- each second.
Perhaps -This only exists inside my head.
Chances are you don't feel the same .
Wouldn't that suck- If my instincts were wrong and you aren't everything.
My friends laugh and say "You built her up way too high-"
Still I do argue- that thats a lie...

I am crazy to care for you so much- I hardly know you-
I've never felt your touch- I've never even made you blush.
I went through the darkest days of my life... Is it too much to ask for some sunshine with you?

You are adorable -I want to see you right now... So I close my eyes...

When I see you its hard to breathe.

I'm excited because I think you might be my oxygen girl- here to breathe life into me...

I stare but it's not creepy- It's looking at the right places and not for too long...

I wonder what it would be like to kiss you and if for some reason I was the man for you- how simple the rest of my life would be-

I'd never have to search again - you'd be standing right next to me...

I love her- but she doesn't love me

I ask her out the best I can- but she gives no answer-

I'd rather have a yes or no anytime... Damn nowadays it really doesn't pay to be a nice guy...

These Warm sensations begin to travel up my spine- I swallow my ego long enough to let words flow on without me.

Her eyes shift to the ground as my sounds continue to splash into her ears. " I love you"

I watch her wonder how and why? She says " A lot of guys want to date me right now- But I think you are a really nice guy!"

She does not love me...

The next few days there is silence from her eyes.

I rub my chest to warm my senses. I love a girl who will never care.

Words continue to write themselves inside of me bleeding ink into my walls-

My skin is tattooed with silly writings of you.

She says " I never meant to hurt you"

I just wanted to rescue her, hold her, and save her from decades of empty tears.

I never will.

I google how to make a girl love you but there is no good advice. Can you believe that?

Perhaps some of this worked in the 80's.

I am defeated because my attempts make me vulnerable- still i must risk this pain for her affection.

My words continue to rain on her ears until her face is all I see.

The looks continue. "Hey there goes the fool?"

What else is new?

The world seems full of these people. They look embarrassed for me. Why?

Because i told the girl of my dreams how I felt ?

So her hair will never fall on my face-

So i will never rescue her- So She is not for me to save...

I don't breathe as well as i used to- I cringe when her eyes land on mine- so defined by my failure.

The colors of my waves and words are not seen- black and white it seems is all I'm left to dream.

Could I be more receptive to her sacred thoughts and hidden plea's-??

Now left a scavenger in the night for her lost hopes and desires.

I search for new themes to prove her theory of me wrong-

I must trust the fluid movements of my pen- A door for my discovery so I can begin.

I don't simulate my affection still she wonders if I am true...

She ignores my superheated phrases that long to end in paradise.

I roll my fingers down my arm to make sure I can still feel- to make sure I did not lose myself in all this darkness.

Go ahead... Ignore me.

I just love you how a man should............Completely.