My Favorite Movie Quotes

When I began to mull over what my favorite movie quotes were, I began to realize that they are all from the same movie, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The collective comedic genius that is Monty Python absolutely shines forth in this movie. I ran over several movie quotes in my head from various movies until I thought of one from Holy Grail. From this point, I started to argue with myself over which quote from Holy Grail I would be favoring. Shortly, I realized that there were just too many great quotes from this movie to choose just one.

Monty Python was comprised of Graham Chapman (deceased), John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, and Michael Palin. As a group, they have produced several movies and a TV series, Monty Python's Flying Circus. Some of their notable sketches from 'Flying Circus' include the Parrot Sketch, The Cheese Shop, and Nudge, Nudge.

Quotable Quotes

The following movie quotes are in the order in which they appear in the movie:

Favorite movie quote #1. "You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together." - Michael Palin as 'Guard' to King Arthur. Arthur, accompanied by his trusty servant Patsy, rides out of the mist and approaches a castle seeking the aid of the resident Lord, only to enter into an argument over where they acquired the coconuts. The guard goes off on a tangent about migratory birds and their inability to carry said coconuts.

Favorite movie quote #2. "Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony." - Michael Palin as 'Dennis' to King Arthur. This quote occurs near the end of a scene between Dennis and Arthur which raises the question of how one actually becomes King - or at least how Arthur did. This scene is probably one of the single funniest scenes in the movie, and it was truly difficult to choose a favorite quote from this scene.

Favorite movie quote #3. "It's just a flesh wound." - John Cleese as 'Black Knight' in a duel with King Arthur. Hysterically funny. The Black Knight does not admit to being injured - or at least not seriously injured. At the point that he delivers this line, he has lost both arms to Arthur's sword. As the fight progresses, we find him on the ground having also lost his legs, yet he still insists that he could win the duel!

Favorite movie quote #4. "Well, she turned me into a newt!" - John Cleese as 'Peasant' providing proof to Sir Bedevere (Terry Jones) that the accused is a witch. In this scene, King Arthur first meets Sir Bedevere and asks him to join the quest for the Holy Grail. John Cleese plays the clueless villager all too well, and this scene is a riot.

Favorite movie quote #5. "It's only a model!" - Terry Gilliam as 'Patsy.' As Arthur and his brave knights approach, they are awed by the beauty that is Camelot until Patsy chimes in with this line. This is one of those 'did he really just say that?' moments. This also marks Gilliam's first spoken line in the movie, though he is one of the first two cast members seen. He doesn't have another line for quite some time after this one, at least as compared to the other Pythons.

Favorite movie quote #6. "'Course it's a good idea!" - Graham Chapman as the voice of 'God' responding to Arthur. King Arthur and his knights are set on the quest for the Holy Grail after this conversation with God. God appears in the clouds, thanks to Terry Gilliam's signature animation, and conveys the idea to Arthur. Why would God have anything to offer but a good idea?

Favorite movie quote #7. "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!" - John Cleese as the 'French Guard.' What the heck is a French guard doing in England? This character delivers some of the funniest lines in the movie, and it is a shame to pick only one part of his taunting of Arthur and the knights. Some of the funniest moments in this scene have as much to do with Cleese's facial expressions as they do with his spoken dialogue. The ensuing scene with the 'Trojan Rabbit' is another memorable moment in the movie.

"Skip A Bit, Brother..." - I thought that I would sneak an extra quote in here...as all of the previous quotes occur in the first 25-30 minutes of the movie, it is only fitting to quote Brother Maynard (Eric Idle) and hold off until some later moments of the film to round out this list...

Favorite movie quote #8. "I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all of this was swamp. All the kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one...stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in these isles." - Michael Palin as "King of Swamp Castle" explaining things to his son, Prince Herbert (Terry Jones). Yet again, there are just too many great lines to truly settle on just one. This scene sets up Sir Lancelot as the hero, as he must storm in to rescue the prince "in his own particular idiom."

Favorite movie quote #9. "And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." - Michael Palin as 'Cleric.' In and of itself, this is just a funny line. The delivery is great - a no-nonsense reading from the Book of Armaments. However, considering Arthur's earlier confusion with the numbers 3 and 5, it is even funnier when Arthur follows the instructions and counts "1, 2, 5!"

Favorite movie quote #10. "It reads, "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Aramathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Castle of Aaauuuggghhh..." - Eric Idle as 'Brother Maynard.' Brother Maynard, also the keeper of the Book of Armaments, is reading the inscription on the cave wall - the final clue the knights need to uncover the holy grail. Of course, it is not that simple!

Deja Vu, That Strange Feeling That You Lived Through Something Before

The above list of movie quotes cannot possibly provide even a glimpse of the comedic genius that is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. To truly do it justice, what I should be doing is quoting full scenes. I know of no other movie that sparks people into firing out their own favorite quotes or picking up the dialogue with me to finish out the scene that I quoted. To paraphrase the potato chip commercial, "Betcha can't quote just one!"

Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti...

No homage to Monty Python and the Holy Grail would be complete, of course, with out mentioning the opening credits. The credits do not truly qualify as movie quotes, as they are not spoken dialogue, but I feel that they do deserve a mention here. Take the time to read the subtitles...very funny.

So, are you off and running through the scenes yet? If you haven't seen the movie, I assure you, you have missed a great one. Even if you have never enjoyed the humor of Monty Python, this movie is worth a look. It is pure silliness.