My Favorite Religion Jokes

This is a collection of some of the best religion jokes i've heard over the years. They are not mine, but I don't know who invented them. Enjoy.

A woman dies and goes to heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her at the gate. She asks, "So what do I have to do to get in?" He says, "It's real easy, just a spelling test: spell 'cat' and 'hat.'" So she spells them both correctly and he lets her in. "By the way," he asks, "I really have to go to the bathroom, can you watch the gate for a few minutes?" "OK," she says, what do I need to do?" He tells her, "just give the spelling test to anyone who comes up." So St. Peter goes off to the bathroom and the woman stands by the gate. A few minutes later her husband comes up. "Hi, honey, fancy seeing you here" he says. "What do I need to do to get in?" he asks. "Just spell two words correctly," she tells him. "So what are the words?" he asks. She says, "'Constantinople' and 'Kyrgyzstan'."

Three ministers, a Methodist, a Presbyterian and a Baptist, and their wives all die in an RV crash. St. Peter looks over the life of the Methodists and say, "Well, you lived a good life, but you had a deep lust in your heart for alcohol. You never drank, but the lust was so great the you married a woman named 'Sherry' and you named your daughter 'Brandy.' Long story, short, you need to work off some of that lust." The minister turns and heads toward purgatory. St. Peter then tells the Presbyterian minister, "You lived a good life, but you lusted deeply for money. So much so, that you married a woman named 'Penny.' Long story short, you need to go work off some of that lust." The minister turns and heads toward purgatory. Meanwhile, the Baptist minister is in the back listening to all this. He turns and heads toward purgatory right after he tells his wife, "Well, Fannie, I guess I'll see you in a little while."

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Televangelist are fishing on a boat in the middle of a lake. The priest tells the group that he needs to go to the bathroom. So he gets out of the boat, walks across the water, takes care of business and walks back across the water. The Rabbi then tells the group that he too has to go to the bathroom. So he gets out of the boat, walks across the water, takes care of business, and walks back across the water. The televangelist, not wanting to be outdone, tells the group that he has to go to the bathroom. He gets out of the boat, and splashes straight down into the water. After the televangelist tries in vain for the next twenty minutes to walk on the water, the Priest looks at the Rabbi and says, "You know, we probably ought to show him where those rocks are."

A Jewish man goes to a friend of his and says, "I've got this problem. I raised my son in the Hebrew tradition, trained him for years how to be a good Jew, and after all that, he tells me that he's become a Christian." His friend says, "Funny you should come to me. I too raised my son in the Hebrew tradition, trained him for years how to be a good Jew, and after all that, he tells me that he's become a Christian." "What should we do?" the first man asks. "Let's got talk to the Rabbi." So they go to their Rabbi, tell him their dilemma, and the Rabbi says, "Funny you should come to me. I too raised my son in the Hebrew tradition, trained him for years how to be a good Jew, and after all that, he tells me that he's become a Christian." "Well Rabbi," the men ask, "what should we do?" "Let's talk to God," says the Rabbi. So they talk to God, and God says, "Funny you should come to me..."

Two ministers, a Baptist and a Methodist live in a small Southern town. Every Saturday, they meet at a local nature trail to ride their bicycles and discuss theology. One day, the Baptist minister calls the Methodist minister to tell him that he won't be meeting him because someone stole his bicycle and he suspected a member of his own congregation. "I'll tell you what to do," says the Methodist. "Tomorrow, preach on the Ten Commandments. When you get to "Thou shalt not steal," bear down on it, whoever stole your bike will get to feeling bad and bring it back." "I'll give it a try," said the Baptist. A week later, the Baptist minister announced that he got his bike back. "Hallelujah!" said the Methodist. "Did you do what I suggested? Preach on the Ten Commandments? Bear down on 'Thou Shalt Not Steal'?" "Well, not exactly," said the Baptist. "Well, what happened?" asked the Methodist. "Well, I started preaching on the Ten Commandments, but when I got to 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' I remembered where I left my bicycle."