My Feelings

Poems escape through my hurting fingers

typing away as my feelings become words

waiting for someone to read them

and agree, or disagree, or tell me I'm okay

I cannot be the only one to feel this way

I know that and yet...

knowing doesn't ease the pain and frustration

I feel alone

trapped in darkness

but I am not

I know that

But it feels

it feels so dark and big and lonely

I press on, typing away,

hoping that seeing my thoughts in print

will ease my heart

and help me get to another day

I am hanging on

I am taking one minute at a time

I am making plans that don't include

my husband,

my soon-to-be-ex-husband.

The weight of the world now falls on my shoulders

some days I can do it and can't wait to go on

other days I am sad that I HAVE to.

I miss the opportunity to choose.

I miss being part of a whole

I'm not sure I can be the whole

alone.

My feelings escape...