My Funny Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

So, New Year's is rolling right up around the corner. Have you given thought to what kinds of things you hope to stop doing? Smoking or eating out at fancy restaurants every night of the week? Or, what about things to do like lose that extra bit of weight or help your kids more with their homework?

I think that most New Year's resolutions are so boring and a lot of people say the same things every year. Most don't follow through with the resolutions and normally forget about them by the time Easter comes hopping by. Well, I have decided that this next year I am going to do ten things that I know that I can accomplish with hardly any work or effort on my part.

I will keep things simple and easy so that I know that I will not fail. Here are my Top 10 New Year's Resolutions for 2010:

New Year's Resolution #10: I will shave my legs at least once a month. I live in snow country and shaving every day is hazardous. Without the fluff, my legs would get frost bite and I would have to have them amputated. But then again, I wouldn't have to worry about shaving.

New Year's Resolution #9: I will use my husband's razor for shaving my legs. I mean why not? It is a much better razor and I don't want to ruin my own and have the blades all bent and cut myself because of it.

New Year's Resolution #8: Watch every single episode of House. There is a bunch to be learned from Dr. House on communication techniques with your fellow man. Plus, you never know if someone might just start convulsing on the floor of a store and the color of their lips remind you of an episode where that guy had the same symptoms and it was just a tape worm that was embedded in his brain. Knowledge is power.

New Year's Resolution #7: Allow my home to get messy. How am I going to have time to clean AND watch every single episode of House? There is just not enough time in the year to do all of that. I do try to save time and multi-task like eating and watching so I don't have to pause the show.

New Year's Resolution #6: I will snuggle up on the couch with my big fluffy throw and fall asleep after the first few pages. Wake up. Rinse. Repeat.

New Year's Resolution #5: I will not eat or drink anything that contains more that 10,000 calories. I will, however, eat a double bacon cheeseburger, large fries, a jumbo drink and a strawberry shake for lunch.

New Year's Resolution #4: I will use the treadmill more often. I will use it for stacking all of the extra boxes and broken furniture on it so I can have that corner cleared out of the back room for my new theater system. I'll call my spare room the Dr. House Theater.

New Year's Resolution #3: I will save more money. By not spending my money and spending my husband's, I will save an enormous amount of dough every year.

New Year's Resolution #2: I will always remember that if the plan involves meatloaf and a plunger that I will not be a part of it. It was a one time thing. I have learned my lesson.

And my #1 New Year's Resolution: I will conserve precious water by showering with a friend. Another added bonus: you don't have to hear the other person whining about there being no more hot water left.