My Heartaches

Ever felt so much pain inside? So much that you can't control your emotions anymore? I just did.

For almost 5 years I've been into a relationship of a roller coaster ride. The first years would definitely be the happiest ones. Creating and sharing dreams with someone who, you thought, knew you, the very bests and worsts within you. I felt heaven. Nothing compares the feeling.

But how come, I am at this point right now? Living alone, all dreams crashing through in thin air. Where did I go wrong? After years of dreaming, would everything end up really like this? How would I survive now that I had given up everything?

Good to know that I have friends to count on to whenever I need them. I may not be able to tell them everything, and possibly won't understand the height of heartaches I am having, but I am still grateful to have them. Knowing that you are not alone is really a great medicine to soothe the pain.

It was good also that I turned myself to visiting the church more frequently than I did before. I often times cried myself while praying. I knew that He heard my prayers. And I believe I would need only Him to guide me more than ever.

Sometimes people need to go through this kind of hardship. There would always be a reason for sure, a lesson we should not forget to learn during the course of our life. To see how strong, how faithful, and what kind of person are we as a whole. On my personal belief, this stage in my life thought me that I shouldn't let my happiness depend on other people. And that after all the pains, there would always be a greater hope.

Hope that somewhere and sometime in the near future, I would find the happiness I deserve.