My High School Sweetheart: Looking Back 21 Years

Twenty-one years after we went our separate ways to college, I was reunited with my high school sweetheart. Our lives have gone in such disparate directions, yet both of us are fulfilled and happy, looking forward to more accomplishments and good times. But if it hadn't been for a boy named Kevin and a girl named Heather, each of whom had their own self-centered agenda, I never would have met Bob.

It was 1979, and I was a senior in high school, Vice President of the Creative Writing Club and soon-to-be published author (my first book, The San Francisco Rock Experience, was published that summer). I also was a member of the Thespians and dating Kevin, a football player and fellow Thespian. I had it all: good grades, a handsome boyfriend...who dumped me the middle of Senior Year for a girl named Heather. That left me with no boyfriend and, even more importantly, no date for the Senior Prom. Did that mean I had attended every prom in previous years but was destined to miss my own? Everyone else was pretty much paired up.

Heather, like Bob, arrived at the school the beginning of our senior year. This is a difficult position to fill; Heather joined our group through a mutual friend. She was a walking teen-aged wet dream; bikini figure, little-girl-voice, not terribly intellectual or intelligent, pretty face and manner. Kevin and most of the other senior boys were falling over themselves to get at her. There was something else about Heather that attracted all the guys; something I discovered later, shortly before graduation. Heather started having sex with Kevin after a couple of dates; I was still a virgin and wouldn't be ready to take a lover for another two years. Like most adolescent males, Kevin was more than ready.

Bob was shy, dark and handsome, and I swept him up and into the group. We wound up having a wonderful senior year together, and a memorable prom and all-night beach party. Although we parted, I never forgot him or the day we went to a pool party at my friend Pam's house.

Heather was prancing around, looking terrific in her string bikini, something those of us who had actually developed breasts could forget about. For months I'd endured her gloating that Kevin had dropped me for her, none of it subtle. Suddenly Kevin turned to glare at Bob, saying loudly, "Hey! Are you staring at Heather's butt?" I figured Kevin must have a butt fetish; the day he told me he and Heather were sleeping together, he mentioned that he liked rubbing her butt...

Bob looked around, confused, as if he hadn't even realized Heather was in the vicinity. Meeting Kevin's eyes he said levelly, "Why on earth would I want to do that, when I'm with Debora?" I think I loved him a little that day, and have ever since.

Over the intervening years, our paths diverged remarkably. I went to our ten year reunion, Bob wasn't there (it later turned out the committee hadn't been able to find him) and neither was Heather (after graduation she moved to Canada and become a dental hygienist) but Kevin was. I was shocked by his appearance; he looked like someone who'd lived in a cabin in the woods for those ten years and only recently emerged, forgetting to shave or get his hair trimmed for the party.

Whew, I thought, I really dodged the bullet on that one -- thank you again, Bob, wherever you are. Over the intervening years, I realized that people like Kevin and Heather, who become the most popular couple in the class, President of the Student Body, etc. etc., frequently reach their peak in high school and have nowhere to go from there. Accustomed to the adulation and envy of their peers, they are confused by the real world situations they discover upon graduation. Kevin did me a favor in turning my eyes toward Bob -- a gentle, intelligent boy who made my life a pleasure.

Kevin remained in our home town, never attended college and went to work for the telephone company. Bob went to San Luis Obispo, took two degrees in Engineering, and has a high-level job in nuclear power administration. I went to two state colleges, took a degree in Journalism/Creative Writing, and although I'm not famous (yet!) my profile is included in five who's who volumes including The Who's Who in the World, and several international biographical anthologies, including Outstanding People of the 20th Century and Outstanding Writers of the 20th Century.

Bob went to our 20th reunion; that time I wasn't there. But last year, on a whim, I looked up his name on the internet, wondering if he had settled back in Northern California. I found an e-mail address and wrote a note, enclosing a photograph. I heard back from him the next day; he, too, had been hoping to connect with me.

Happily married to Cathy since the age of 25, Bob is the father of two children. We now communicate frequently by e-mail, but haven't yet met in person. Although we have exchanged photographs and accept the fact that neither looks like a high school senior anymore, perhaps we're afraid of bursting that remembrance bubble. Then again, perhaps we will meet one day. Perhaps I'll meet Cathy, and Bob's children.

Even if our friendship is confined to the Internet, I now know I owe Kevin and Heather a debt. If they hadn't decided they had something to offer one another to the extent that Kevin was willing to play the jerk, Bob would never have been a significant part of my life. And he was well-worth having as a friend, then and now. So thanks, Kevin and Heather; hey, you deserved each other.