My Husband the Handyman? Not!

When I met my husband, we both worked in a big box home improvement store. He attempted to impress me, and others, with talk of power tools, plumbing repair jobs and basic home improvement. Little did I know, it was all talk. I find out the hard way, after we were married.

Why would I have suspected it was all talk? His Christmas list included the typical manly man items. A Dremel tool, power drill, scroll saw and large rolling red tool box. I soon found out it was only a dream or maybe just an illusion. We lived in an apartment for the first year of our marriage, so I didn't have much opportunity to suspect anything there. Afterall, the apartment management was responsible for repairs. Once we purchased and moved into our home, complete withnew wall to wall carpeting, I quickly found that my husband was an imposter.

First, he spilled something, I don't know what to this day, on the carpet. Obviously, he could not remove the stain and when I came home I quickly noticed it, a large dark and hardened spot in the carpeted hallway. I kneeled on the floor to examine the spot only to discover dried paint. We hadn't been painting anywhere in the house. I don't think we even had paint in the house. Well, we didn't, unitl that day. I quickly found out that in an attempt to hide the spill, of whatever it was, my husband, the quick thinking handyman that he his, took a carpet sample to the local hardware store.

Afterall, he had experience, he knew hardware stores had the capability of mixing paint to match just about anything. Carpet color match, you bet! He had them match some flat latex wall paint to the color of the carpet, brought it home and painted over the stain on the carpet. To make it worse, he thought it looked good and was actually proud of himself.

Over the next ten years I have experienced some of the craziest repair jobs that have probably ever been completed. Did you know that a shower handle can easily be repaid by supergluing a pair of channel locks to the stem? Anything broken can be repaired by putting something else, towels are his repair tool of choice, over the broken item. Holes in walls can be fixed with a hammer and nail, which are used to place a picture over the original hole.

To think my husband remains employed at a major home improvement store. They say those that can't do, teach.