My Inner Tightwad Tells How to Throw an Inexpensive Children's Birthday Party

I'm going to be honest. I'm a tightwad. I cringe at the thought of spending $100 on my kid's birthday party. I don't see the point in spending all that money for things that they aren't going to remember 10 years down the road. Cake, ice cream, games and friends is all they really care about. So, here are my tips for throwing a children's birthday party that appeals to the inner tightwad in all of us.

Simplicity is the key to throwing a cost-efficient party. Start by cutting out the themed everything. It might look cool, but do you really think your party guests are going to care that you are eating off Star Wars plates, drinking out of Star Wars cups, using silverware that matches the Star Wars plates and cups, and that everything is sitting on a Star Wars table cover surrounded by Star Wars balloons? You end up paying over $3 for a pack of 8 plates that you end up using one time. Paper plates cost around $2 for a pack of 50, and you usually end up with a lot left over. That way, you can reuse them for dinner later on in the week and you won't have to do the dishes for at least a couple of days.

If you are feeling brave, you can make the birthday cake yourself, as opposed to paying $20 for someone else to do it. Mine don't always end up looking top-notch professional, but it sits on the counter for the duration of the party, and people ooh and ahh over it for exactly one minute, which is long enough to sing 'Happy Birthday' and hack up that masterpiece you paid $20 for. I go to the bakery section of the store and ask for a cake kit, which consists of the figurines on top of the cake. I end up paying $5 for the cake kit. Then I go home and bake my cake, make my own icing and tint it. I write 'Happy Birthday' on it and plop the cake kit on top of the cake. That cost me a total of $10, including supplies (and that is assuming you have to buy a $2 bottle of vanilla extract). Then you have a nice themed cake. And honestly, who is going to come into your house and tell you that your cake sucks? Well, maybe Great-Aunt Hilda might, but she smells like vodka anyway. We'll just keep her off the guest list next year.

Games can be done in a less than over-the-top manner. My son had a blast at his birthday party with the piñata. I didn't trust a bunch of 6 year olds blindfolded with a bat swinging at who-only-knows what, so we bought the piñatas with the pull strings on them. Instead of mauling the piñata with a bat, there are strings the kids pull at, and one string rips the piñata open. This is far less traumatizing than seeing their favorite character being bludgeoned to death with a bat. Then, you give the kids a goody bag and let them go to town grabbing the piñata's inners. That way, you save some money by not paying $30 for Star Wars pens, whistles, bouncy balls and tablets. The piñata goodies ARE the contents of the goody bags. And an even bigger bonus: we found a piñata at the Dollar Store. Everyone gasp in unison that the piñata didn't match the birthday party theme. I didn't care though, because they were just going to rip a hole in it. Call me cheap, but I don't like spending $15 on something that my kids will intentionally rip apart.

I'm cheap when it comes to serving food. As in, I don't serve food. I throw the party in the middle of the afternoon, in between lunch and dinner, so I don't have to worry about making half a dozen appetizers. Cake and ice cream is fine for me, thanks. I DO serve a mean punch. I have a fantastic punch recipe. It calls for a quart of pineapple sherbet, a quart of orange juice, a quart of apple juice, and a liter of ginger ale. Mix the first three in a punch bowl, then right before the party, add the pineapple sherbet. It makes for some great punch, and it only costs about $4 or $5.

So, there you have it. I've done all my kids' birthday parties like this, and they have yet to become traumatized at my refusal to throw an over-the-top party for them. Honestly, all they remember about it is the presents they got and who was at the party.