My Kids Don't like My Boyfriend - Should I Marry Him? Should I Call it Quits?

You've found the love of your life. You want to get married and have "happily ever after begin." You want to share the rest of your lives together, take care of each other, and share life's joys together.

But - wait - there's a problem! Your child (or children) just can't stand him. They don't like him, or perhaps they've even said they hate your boyfriend. They don't want you to marry him, and they've made it very clear to you. They don't like him and don't want him to be their step-dad. . What should you do?

To be brutally honest, a quick answer to "Should I Marry My Boyfriend If My Kids Don't Like Him?" is "No, not now.." That's right - you should not marry a guy if your kids don't get along with him. If your children have expressed that they do not like your boyfriend, and pretty much wish he wasn't around, then that's a big red flag. As painful as this may sound, you need to put your kids lives' first.

Statistically, second marriages are more likely to fail than first marriages. According to divorcerate.com, the divorce rate for second marriages is 60%. But, really the statistics don't matter - what matters is your child's well being. Children who are having difficulties in their home are more likely to have problems in school, mental health issues, behavioral problems. Their anger and resentment can lead to serious future problems that will just make matters worse.

But, you might be thinking "I deserve to be happy!" Nope, your happiness should come second to your children's. Now, that doesn't mean you can't ever marry your boyfriend. You can wait, until your child is 18, or at least 17, and rethink this decision. Until then - the needs and desires of your children should come first. When you agreed to parent your child, you put your child's life before yours. And, if that means being single a little bit longer, then by all means, don't get married.

Also, the truth is, happiness (for the most part) is a choice. You can be happy with your children. You can learn to be content with being their sole parent, mentor, counselor and nurturer. If you think you need a man to make you happy, then that is a big red flag that this isn't going to work.

The fact that you children don't like your new boyfriend / fiance can also be a sign that he is not treating them well. While this may not be the case, if it is, would you want your child around someone who mistreats them? No, of course not!

You might also ask yourself this question: "If I were the child, what would I want my parent to do?" If you look at it from this angle, you will understand more why you should put the needs of your children first.

Yes, every situation is different. But, most of the time, a marriage that's not supported by your children is not ideal. It can just mean future problems, and perhaps even lead to divorce.

You may not like what I've had to say. My beliefs that you should not marry your boyfriend if your kids hate him are based on life experience. This decision is based on what I've seen in my life, with parents who married when they're kids don't get along with the new step dad.

I highly recommend, that whether you plan to marry him or not, you speak with a trained counselor on this issue. If you cannot afford a counselor, call a local church and ask if they offer free or low-cost counseling. If you don't, they might know someone who does.

You might also read the article "20 Signs You're Dating Mr. Wrong." Another article to check out is "How to Find Support As a Single Mom." Best Wishes as you make decisions for your future!