My Last Picture with Dad

My father was someone I would never know until towards the end of his life. Something I never dreamed of having but a true blessing from God.

My father had a home in Youngtown, Arizona and my home is in Pennsylvania. The past few years we had been in touch and he would occasionally visit. Before that, I have not seen my father due to alcoholism. With a life of abuse in the beginning we finally had pushed him out of our lives.

In the late eighties I became curious about his whereabouts. Wondering if he was even alive. I eventually found him but the drinking and the past still created problems. It took a few years. He almost died and finally quit the drinking. We both had to leave the past behind and we managed to form a wonderful relationship in the past few years.

About three years ago I was not aware of the fact that he had begun drinking again. Now with a sugar problem he almost died. He managed to wonder over to a neighbor's home and passed out. He was admitted to a nursing home after he recovered enough in the hospital. It took me three days to find him because he did not have my current phone number written down anywhere. I had moved and he memorized my newest number.

I finally called the police to go to his home. When they had arrived the neighbor saw them, went over and explained the situation. At that point my father was still in a confused state and not allowed to live on his own.

He wanted out of the home but could not go to his home. I flew to Arizona, took him out of the home and then the fun began. I spent three weeks cleaning with no help from him but he was determined to stay. He realized he could not but dragged it out as long as he could. We put the home up for sale. We then traveled back across the country so he could at least keep his truck. I live in a small town and felt he would not go far. I didn't want to make him let go of everything.

He lived with me about seven months. He was miserable. He stayed in his room most of the time. He ate there. I really did enjoy the time we had together though. We learned a lot about each other. We argued once in awhile. He was here when I shot a Spring gobbler. Like a child I was anxious to show my father. He always heard about my hunting stories but this was the first time he actually saw any of my game.

By April I could not stand seeing how unhappy he was. He would express how he wanted to go home. He wanted to live there and die there. He wanted to be buried in Arizona. His home never sold. I knew if I let him go it would not be long. The doctors said he was doing well. He hadn't been drinking. I knew he was ready to let go of life. He suffered a lot of pain in his legs from his diabetes.

I finally came to the conclusion that I would rather him die happy than live in his bedroom unhappy for God only knows how long. I told him I would let him go home. The life came back into his eyes. He was so happy.

The night before he left my daughter's family, my husband and I took him out to dinner. After, we took many pictures. As we took the pictures I knew they would be the last pictures we'd take of my father. We had a good time.

The next day I took him to the airport. I had them waiting with a wheelchair so that he would have to rush and worry. We went as far as I was permitted. I kissed and hugged him good bye knowing in my heart it would be the last time. He was so happy to be going home though.

When he arrived home he called and I still can hear his happiness in his voice. I knew I had made the right decision and the past few months were a blessing form God.

On December 13th of that year my father died of a heart attack. He's in a better place now and I will always have those last few months we had together. I will have this picture of him and me forever. When he was happy and so was I. I gave my father something he really wanted. Thank you God for that time. The time I never dreamed I'd have to really know my father.