My Life as a Young Grandfather

My Pregnant Teen Daughter
In early summer 2006, our daughter who was 19, told us she was pregnant. We weren't surprised since we knew she was sexually active. Our hope was perhaps she wasn't going to be able to get pregnant. I told my wife I wished she would decide to place the soon-to-born for adoption. She and our other children are all adopted and came to us while we were in our late 20s and early 30s. They entered our home as young as 5 weeks old and our daughter came to us at age 7. I raised the idea with my daughter that adoption would benefit another family and her daughter but she scornfully said "why would I go through a term carrying the child just to give it up to someone else." My wife told me to simply drop the idea.

Our Granddaughter is Born
Finally, in January 2007 she had a C-section and gave birth to a healthy baby girl. Our daughter is unpredictable in her behaviors and I had a hard time adjusting to the fact that I was now a grandfather at the age of 45. The event came on the tail of a particularly difficult emotional year for me as I tried to adjust to a new sales job, engaged in several weekly counseling sessions a week with our other children and welcomed in to our home a 19-year-old boy who had never before lived in a family. He was the oldest biological sibling to our youngest daughter and he was going to be homeless otherwise.

When little Miss K was born, my wife's first reaction was to call her "the baby." She felt it was risky attaching to her because of our daughter's volatile lifestyle and temperament. She was on again and off again almost weekly with her boyfriend. We felt the tension of wanting to show love but knowing attachment could spell danger if our daughter, who was talking about moving to Las Vegas, decided to rip her away. Our daughter and the baby moved away from her boyfriend and his mother back to our house in March. Ironically, this was the same tension foster parents experience when they don't know if the child with them will return to the birth parents or stay with them and become an adoptive child.

Our GrandDaughter and Her "Birth" Mother
We discussed with our daughter our expectations while she was living at our house such as picking up after herself, not having guys in her room and treating us respectfully. She was serious when she told us she was afraid it would be tough to comply with our rules. But she nevertheless moved in and we soon discovered that early in the morning, when the baby woke up, she came out of her room and handed the infant to either my wife or me.

This pattern has developed, and as I expected, we soon took to nurturing little Miss K every chance we could by reading to her, praying with her, and taking her on walks every day. While I didn't at first enjoy the title "Grandpa" I've since begun joking about it with our friends who are similar in age but have children still in elementary school or just entering high school. I've learned to take "pride" in being called that and have asked the wording be changed to a more hip sounding "G-pa."

Embracing "Grandfather-Hood"
I've concluded there's one major advantage to being a grandfather at such a young age: I stay in good shape and I can stay active with her and get a good workout carrying her in the backpack on our evening walks.

It's been a joy watching Miss K crawl and begin exploring around the house. Even though we have 6 kids through adoption and guardianship, she is the first infant we've had the joy of experiencing. Our youngest daughter who came to us at 5 weeks of age never smiled during infancy and rarely moved until she was about 15 months old. We have concluded her inactivity and developmental delays have been the result of drugs and alcohol use during birth.

During the past two weeks, our oldest daughter whom I jokingly refer to as "the birth mother" said she and Miss K are moving to Las Vegas in either January or February. We've learned to not respond emotionally to such comments and instead we enjoy each day we have with Miss K. I like to challenge my older friends saying "I beat you" by being the first to have a grandchild. And I'm enjoying life as a young grandfather.