My Life with Sleep Apnea

When I was just a kid, both my parents could bring the house down with their snoring at night. Pity my siblings or me if we didn't get to sleep before they did and were forced to lull ourselves to sleep to the sounds of "Dueling Freight Trains". My mother, God rest her soul, could cause the house's foundation to rattle with her snores but the minute you tried to sneak in after midnight she was instantly alert.

When I became a teenager, I used to wake myself up with the sound of my own snoring. I thought this was just normal. It wasn't until my late 30's, when I lived with a partner who was well versed in sleep apnea, that I got the first suspicion something might be wrong with my health. I used to wake up in the morning alone only to find him stretched out on the couch because he couldn't sleep next to my own freight train melody. He also told me that I would frequently wake up throughout the night, snort a bit and then roll over and fall back asleep.

At his urging I made an appointment with a pulmonary specialist. Until I spoke with my general practitioner, I had no idea this was who you would consult for a disorder like sleep apnea.

Sleep Science

My pulmonologist ordered a sleep study and I gamely agreed. In compliance with the instructions, I showed up at the hospital one evening sans makeup, deodorant, lotion and hairspray. This was the middle of summer in Phoenix, mind you. I'm not sure how many people in the waiting room I offended with my natural body odors but it must have been more than a few.

In short order I was taken up to the sleep study wing. My assigned nurse for the night began with taking me into a room in my pajamas and hooking me up with about a million wires attached to electrodes placed all over my body. "Medusa of the Wires" was then attached to a computerized machine that would be my constant companion for the night. I was taken to a room that is supposed to remind one of a hotel, except that this hotel room fronted onto a wide glass screen behind which sat my nurse and another, who was monitoring my sleep study buddy in the room next door. A Hyatt Regency hotel room this was not. A polyester comforter in an 80's floral pattern and a sink mounted to the wall with exposed pipes in the tiny bathroom spoke more of Motel 6.

I managed to make it through the night without going to the bathroom, fearful of having to press the button to alert my nurse, mobilize the machine attached and be escorted to the bathroom only to have to lay back down amidst my array of wiring and try to fall asleep again.

The results from this first study came back several weeks later. My pulmonologist explained the results were inconclusive. I stopped breathing 28 times per hour throughout the night and the official diagnosis requires 30 times in an hour. Luckily for me, I got sent back to the hospital for a second sleep study.

This time the nurse gave me a CPAP machine to use for the night. Although I had to drive the 30 miles back home the next morning without my usual gallon of coffee and get ready for work, I awoke fully rested. It was the best night of sleep I could ever remember experiencing.

This time the consultation with my doctor resulted in a diagnosis of obstructive sleep apnea and a prescription for a continuous positive airway pressure machine (CPAP). As a female in my late 30's of an average weight I didn't fit the standard profile of a middle-aged, overweight male, most usually afflicted with the disorder so it was a surprise to many.

Learning to Live, and Love with a CPAP

The next appointment was with a company approved by my insurance plan to obtain my very own CPAP machine and mask. The excitement of it all! My sleek little gray box, long plastic hose and headgear added up to more than $3,500 so I was quite thankful for insurance coverage.

Remembering the great sleep I experienced at the hospital, that night I was eager to try out my new machine. From the few styles available, I had chosen a mask similar to that I wore during my second sleep study. It was a plastic contraption with a forehead piece, plastic hose and wide nose mask all kept secure on my head with a series of Velcro-ed elastic bands. It took me several minutes to remember the instructions from the tech at the medical supply company and untwist the bands, fit it to my head and fasten it in place properly. I attached the end of the long plastic hose from my mask to the machine and turned it on. And promptly freaked out.

The hardest thing to adjust to with the CPAP machine was breathing through my nose. As someone who had snored all her life, I was used to breathing orally and I panicked when I couldn't open my mouth. I could not even speak with the headgear on. It was also a scary feeling to wake up in the middle of the night and need to use the bathroom because I didn't think I could undo the Velcro strips and rip the mask off my face fast enough to get sufficient air (this problem was later solved with a quick release mechanism). Consequently, if I needed to arise at night I would simply disconnect the hose to the machine and leave my headgear on.

This caused problems of its own. The first week I wore my new device, I woke up in the middle of the night at the same time as my son. We collided in the dark hallway and he promptly screamed bloody murder. I couldn't figure out what was wrong until I switched on the light and he pointed out how I resembled the alien creature hunting Arnold Schwarzenegger from the movie Predator.

My son and I both soon adjusted and got used to my appearance with the mask. My boyfriend at the time decided to move on and move out and I was left without a partner. After my son's reaction to the first time seeing me with my device in place, I was certain that I would be forced into a life of celibacy. While a CPAP may exude sexiness to some, only men with a certain fetish are attracted to it. I dreaded the first night of a sleepover with a new love interest and his reaction to my "alien" look.

As all things happen, my situation improved. I learned how to sleep with air blowing into my nostrils and how to wind the long hose around a small pillow on my bed so the headgear doesn't get tugged off my face. I learned that using a CPAP with a stuffy nose from a bad cold or sinus infection is impossible. I got used to the fact that the CPAP machine will follow me through the rest of my life wherever I go and it is the first item I pack when taking a trip. Newer styles of headgear came out on the market and I picked one more suitable for me. I have found that I cannot get a good night's slumber without my machine.

I also learned when you find the right person, your frightening appearance at night is something that can be overcome. In fact, my fiancee tells me the gentle sound of the air rushing through my machine actually lulls him to sleep. What a guy!