My Life in Ten Appliances
Why must my things
Be an incessant string
Of pieces of shit that don't work?
My fridge catches fire
If you hook up that wire
And it sounds like a train gone berserk
Be an incessant string
Of pieces of shit that don't work?
My fridge catches fire
If you hook up that wire
And it sounds like a train gone berserk
I've had washers that pour
Water onto the floor
And dryers that dry without heating
My stove is now down
To three burners, and I've found
That my oven just needs a good beating
I've gone through deep freezes
That freeze if they pleases
And toasters that burn things on low
So I sit and I wait
An inevitable fate
For the next piece of garbage to go!
Published by Bailey Black
Bailey is a freelance writer from Canada and a stay-at-home mother of three. She is a Featured Parenting Contributor, a Featured A&E Contributor, and was considered funny by at least 87 people at last count. View profile
- Story About a Haunted House in New EnglandThe story is about a haunted house built in the area of the New England colonies shortly after the War for Independence concluded. Over a period of 200 years, three owners have met their individual fates while living...
- Cultural Comparisons and Contrasts Between Mormons and Muslims Living in VirginiaThis is a research paper I was assigned to write during a Masters of Fine Arts in Teaching program I was briefly attending. The assignment was to compare and contrast two different cultures living in my home state.
- Top Ten Children's Picture BooksMy top ten all-time favorite children's picture books.
- Jack-In-The-BoxA touching coming-of-age story.
Day to Day Life for a New SoldierIf you're considering joining the military, or have friends and family doing so, this will give you a brief intro to what the average day is actually like.
- Top Ten Appliances for College Students
- Escaping Domestic Violence: How Leaving an Abusive Husband Changed My Life
- Must-Have Household Tools and Appliances for a Green Home
- Repeating the Fall of Rome in the United States
- The Ten Rules of House Flipping
- How to Convince the World The Future is in Danger
- Top Apartment Complexes in Bradenton, Florida
14 Comments
Post a CommentBailey, this is a pisser and unfortunately you have to suffer the consequences. Love it and will follow and hope you follow me back! Diane
Not just LMAO, but ROF doing it! :)
Woo-HOOOO! That was fabulous, Bailey! Well, not to sound unsympathetic to the fact that your appliances are out to kill you, but you know... you make it hilarious! ; )
I thought I was the only one who survived with only three stovetop burners.
Wonderful! :)
Very creative, hillarious poem!
This is a clever poem!
Hee! I really ought to write a poem about my troubled relationship with plumbing...
I've decided the appliances have banded together to drive me insane. They all seem to be falling apart at the same time.
Haha, too funny and true. Good job.