My Major

When I was young, I told my mom I wanted to become a doctor. She tried to stop me and said that I woudn't have what it took. If I could ever listen to her.... I knew it would take a lot of time and hard work, anyway, becoming a doctor has been a long dream of mine.

But when I got the offer of a famous university, my mom was so proud that she almost showed it off to everyone in town like it was a big success or something. If she could see me now...

I knew doctor is a honouring profession, at least you have chance to relive other's pains. Thus I went into medicine because I wanted to be good, for the rush, for the high, for the ride. Ironically, I didn't really know what it was with me in the medical field, as a lot of doctors in dramas too were very passionate in treating patients. Once it comes to real life, for myselves, Whereas, as an intern, what I remember at the end of most days are losses. I mean, I am doing it everyday and the hospital where I am working is like a second home tome...Finally, I still have to face patients suffering from the diseases. It is sad, really! I began to regret for my major though I would like to save lives. I guess you will find that I am a coward somehow.

But after thinking about it, life doesn't mean to work like the way that I think. maybe I am just scared of undergoing something that is unavoidable, that is supposed to go on, that is about to continue, and that has to be the very outcome. It makes me realize of how fragile the life is. Maybe, I am just too idealistic in a certain sense that becoming a doctor would make me "really" save all lives on the brink of death, but I have to accept as well that "death" is part of the cycle. Everyone may just be a passenger travelling on the earth.

You know, the world needs people like doctors. If all of us held back just for our fears, what will happen? It would be awfully terrible, isn't it? So my point is.. I could quit emotionally, here is the thing, I am on the playing field and on it. When you are a soldier in the war, for example, you know, you coundn't run away anyway! Me, on the other hand, I should get used to it and become more strong. Tomorrow is anther day, there will be a new sun waiting for me!