My Marriage After He Cheated

For a long time I always believed that people who screw you over deserve to be kicked to the curb. If your significant other lies and cheats, then it's over. That's what I believed. I was certain that was the way it should be. My friends would be with people who hurt them and I could never understand why they continued to stay and "work it out." I was SURE that it was a waste of time and just asking for more heartache.

Now...

I have learned something. Love is an immensely powerful thing. Love is an investment. Love is artwork to be molded. No one is perfect. Not even me. Temptation can be equally powerful and lead you down a road you should stay far away from. You should run! But in this day and age, temptation is literally thrown in front of us, under our very own roofs, transmitted through cables, wires, and cellular signals. It's not always easy to turn your back on it. You might truly love your significant other, but the excitement just draws you in. Sucks away all your reasoning until you have given in... and it's too late.

Some people just naturally have stronger barriers against temptation. Those are the people, like me, who think those who succumb to temptation should not be given another chance. We feel that those people should know better. Why not? We do! Well, it doesn't work that way. I am starting to believe some people really just can't help themselves. Maybe it's their upbringing. Maybe it's in their genetic makeup. Maybe it's all of that. One thing I know and have seen happen before with my own eyes, is that people can change. Only if that person wants to change, but it can happen.

So the old "me" says screw this. It's over. But this new "me" is seeing someone broken, someone who wants help, someone who needs help, someone who is asking for and actively seeking the help, someone who honestly does love me and doesn't want it to end. I have a big heart full of compassion. Could I live with myself wondering if I didn't try everything I could to work things out? Alas, here I am... in my friend's shoes... asking myself the same questions they asked themselves... all the while I told them they were crazy. How the tables turn and reality slaps you in the face.

Now I am the one with people I hold dear to me, telling me I am better off letting go. But those who have been down this road, know better. Now I know how it feels and it sucks.

So, I found myself choosing my own path, just as my friend's did. Choosing to give it another try. Willing to say let's try something different and we will see. Accepting the possibility of more heartache. It's ok though. It burns, but it never kills you. It's better then giving up, I think.

Today, we are going to see a counselor. I am scared and excited at the same time. We have both agreed to be completely open. There is nothing left to lose. So maybe we can get a better understanding. Maybe this is what we needed? I can at least say with certainty that it won't be a waste of time.

The one thing in my life that always meant the most, was having someone there who never gave up on me. No matter how screwed up I was. No matter how I hurt or wronged them. And believe me, I have done my shameful share of that. But, they were always there. I was fortunate to have that in my parents. They are amazing, wonderful people. If I can be that for him and give back some of what I have been blessed to have, then that's what I will do. "In sickness, and in health." Right? Not that I would doom myself to a life of misery with a bad person, but I don't believe that is the situation here.