My Memoirs Are Going to Be in 3-D!

Everybody who's deemed important is releasing their memoirs; Justin Bieber is the latest in a list of anticipated reads. I'm not sure what the age limit is on telling your life story but I think you need to be at least 18 years old for anybody to take you serious. Although, if your shelf life is going to expire before that time then I guess its best to put out something before people forget who you were. Memoir is a Latin word meaning "memory". You can also use the term "autobiography" but memoir sounds better, I guess.

I don't think the current generation is really into reading anymore, if its in a digital format, such as the Kindle, or has a catchy title then maybe you can capture their attention for a couple of paragraphs before they zone out. Movies are the best way to tell a story but embellishment is paramount when you want to capture the audience and keep them in their seats. So, reading has sort of gone by the wayside.

In order to really know a person's life you should examine them beyond the character they play on television or in the movies. Musicians are easier to figure out because you can read the lyrics to their songs to know what they are about but a movie or television star, who really knows who they are. Late night talk shows can offer a five minute glimpse into their lives but fans who want more will be forced to seek out information on the internet and who knows how accurate that stuff can be since everybody has an opinion called a blog.

You can read tweets by your favorite celebrity on Twitter if you must know what they are doing all the time but just think for a minute about where the word tweet came from, birds tweet, are those birds' blue jays or cardinals, or crows? Facebook is another social network that you can use to find information on your favorite celebrity, so I ask why somebody needs to release their memoirs in book form.

I enjoy a good story; I'll even read a manual written in seven different languages in order to find out how to build a bookcase because sometimes the picture doesn't tell the whole tale. So, those who just have to read about a celebrity and their life might find out that they have probably heard everything the writer has already said, in one format or another. By the way, tweets are little sentences, mini quips; it does not count as reading in my book.

That's why I'm going to release my memoirs in 3-D! They will be eye-popping, in your face, popcorn tossing and tear jerking fun. In order to make you buy the Blu-ray and not the boring old DVD I'm going to toss in an interactive Q&A. You will be able to ask me questions and I'll respond live via wherever I'm at. I don't tweet so if you happen to catch me in the bathroom...