My Mother's Church

Let me start by saying that I know not everyone believes in God. And for awhile i was not so sure if I did. But since last night a lot of things have changed in me. I was sitting at my computer and writing articles and this verse from the bible came to me. John 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled believe in God. I used to love that verse as a child.

I began typing those words in my search bar and up pops an online bible. But when I read that verse it was like I had really read it for the first time. I was a youth pastor for a very long time at the age of 13 I headed up bible study for the teens. I was not easily annoyed and they were all older than myself

I spent all my time in my room praying and reading my bible. I had a ministry calling to sing, and pray over people for healing. But in 1989 my son Alan Keith Frierson was taken to heaven at birth. So I never got to hear him cry! I lost all belief in God at that point. I don't think it was apparent to me until last night. I just thought God left me and I was not good enough anymore.

This morning I went to the church my mom attended. New Day Awakening in Temple, Texas. During the praise and worship all of these things became so real to me. God touched me in that service and let me know he loved me. People told me this often and I thought sure he does. But today it was different, as I listened to the band and singers praising God, it became real to me that the reason I did not serve anymore was because when my son died I was so bitter I left God. But in my heart I felt like he took not only my child but his sprit.

God showed me as Pastor Mike was speaking about leaving it and not bringing you baggage of hurts, addictions, guilt, anything that is your baggage with you when you turn to God. I began crying and a woman from the praise team came down and prayed over me. Up until today I did not feel like God loved me.

Last night after reading that verse and thinking about the call on my life, I began to realize that I was suppose to be a minister and a singer. Along the way I had forgotten. Then there was an email that I received the songs by Allan Levi made me realize all the people that were touched by Jesus were broken in some way. So when I went to church it was to leave all my baggage and begin a new walk with Christ.

I want to say thank you to Pastor Mike, his wife and the praise team for listening to God and not thinking about who doesn't like what is said. Because I have more peace today than I have had in 20 years. When I came home I hugged my sister and for the first time in years meant it. That in itself is real change from the inside out.