My Oblivious, Chain-Smoking Mom

I don't know whether my mom is oblivious or just doesn't want to admit that her chain-smoking is causing a major problem for my little sister.

My little sister (13) needs an inhaler. Yeah. Over Thanksgiving dinner, my mom told me that Shannon was hacking so loud and hard the her science teacher "kicked her out of class." He told her it was distracting the class and she should go to the nurse.

The nurse knew that my sister was ironically already going to the Dr. that same afternoon for a followup to a burn she has on her leg (firecracker accident). The nurse called my mom and said that Shannon needs to get this cough looked at. The doctor thought she may have asthma, so he prescribed her an inhaler. The breathing test came back normal, however. That shocks me. At any rate my mom said she is doing better know that she has the inhaler.

Over the years, I've noticed Shannon has a horrible wheezing cough. Dave noticed it the first night he was at my mom's three years ago. He mentioned how bad it was.

My mom lives in a very nice, but very small house. (I know her beautiful newly painted walls are going to be an ugly orange in a few years!) Now, since the house is small and there is no ventilation, the house is always filled with smoke. The poor kids can't breathe.

So here's the kicker! We all wake up Black Friday (around 10am, typical for the entire clan of about 13 late sleepers-- and yes, most of us slept on the livng room floor and dining room floor, slumber party style!)-- and are sitting around the kitchen table. It's my grandmom, aunt Joan, uncle Pat and mom who are all smoking, then Dave and two of my cousins. I bring up Shannon's problem again. My mom says:

"I WONDER IF SHE IS ALLERGIC TO THE DOG...."

I pick up her pack of Kool's and wiggle them in the air and say, "HELLOOOOOOO???"

Everyone cracked up laughing and I guess it was funny. But I don't think my mom really knows how bad her smoking is.

I hate to tell people what to do. I know lots of smokers. I don't like to be THAT person... But I grew up in the same environment, but I guess the houses were always a little bigger or something, I don't know. I get winded easily but I blame that on not being in shape. However, I always reeked of smoke at school, my best friend Laura confided in me once. I had long hair, so it just stayed in it. My coat would smell like stale smoke. Ick!

On Thanksgiving we left our coats and overnight bag in the car because I don't want to leave smelling like an ashtray. But the thing that bothers me is that she doesn't care. Some smokers, even though they never quit will admit they want to quit or that they know it is bad for them.

I always wondered if she would quit if she found out one of kids got lung cancer from her second hand smoke. While Shannon's scenario isn't as serious, it still should have been a wake up call that THE POOR GIRL CAN'T BREATHE. I don't want my little sister to suffer. Or Joey-- he doesn't have anything wrong-- yet.

My little brother Joey, 14 HATES it. He nags her to no end! We all pick on her about it. Some people at least respect the nonsmoker by going outside. Not my mom. She is a proud smoker, adamant about smoker's rights.

Oh. Dave won't even eat the Christmas cookies after a while-- they even taste like smoke from my mom and grandmom puffing away. But that's another holiday.

I don't mean to complain about my mom, I really don't. She just needs to cut back and realize that IT IS affecting people she loves physically now. Dave never wants to go there because (he did use to smoke casually). I can't stand it either, but it's my family and I want to see them.

Before I end my rant, one more thing: one visit we wanted to go to breakfast somewhere, but we had to go to a diner that allowed smoking. Thing was, my non-smoking uncle was treating us. I don't think she likes to come to my house because I don't let her smoke. It just seems that everything revolves around the cigarettes. Not all smokers are like that.

She can tone it down a bit for the sake of us when we are in her company at least.