My Opinion on Breastfeeding in Public
How Breastfeeding Mothers Get Mixed Messages
Society sends mixed messages to breastfeeding women. In the hospital they encourage you to breastfeed because it's better for the baby's development. It helps increases the IQ of the baby, helps develop mother-child bonds, helps with brain development, and helps with the muscles used to speak. The hospital staff teaches your husband how to support your breastfeeding, and ways that they can help you. You have all the help and support you need to get you started.
Then you leave the hospital. You aren't prepared for breastfeeding in public, even if you aren't embarrassed to bare your breasts in public. All of the stares and rude comments that are made to a women nursing her infant are appalling and discouraging to a breastfeeding mother. Why would anyone be rude to a women doing something good for her child?
The most appalling part of being a mother breastfeeding in public is that the ridicule comes from other women, not men. When I was breastfeeding the youngest of my children, a nine month old now, I was insulted with dirty looks, comments about how I "should feed the baby in the bathroom" or how I should cover myself if I'm going to be doing "that" in public. Women with their small children trying to find ways to avoid coming near me and other such behaviors happened every time I fed my son in public. I couldn't understand why these other women were reacting to me that way, and I still don't understand why.
How did these women feed their own children? I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, I wasn't running through the mall topless, breast exposed and bouncing everywhere. I was using my breasts for what they were intended for, and I wasn't going to change what I was doing on account of any other person disapproving. I think I got the point across when I started making rude comments back to them, or returning a dirty look.
For all you breastfeeding moms out there that experiencing the same things that I experienced: Don't be embarrassed, you are doing the right thing! If any other person tells you otherwise, ask them why they don't help you rather that insult you. Ask them if they would like to eat in a bathroom under a blanket? Ask them why they don't lobby for lounges that are more comfortable and private? That way they wouldn't have to avoid you and your baby. Ask them to understand that you have a life, and that you can't hide in your house forever. Most important, remember that your baby will be happier, healthier, and smarter because of it!
Published by Jordana Kwan
I cuurently reside in Bailey Colorado with my family. I work in one of the most hated and misunderstood industries, and assist my husband with his business. Past time include but aren't limited to: reading,... View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentBreastfeeding should be considered as natural as eating food in a restaurant. Babies need to eat, and mothers should be supplying that nutrition. Our society has turned breasts into sex objects that need to be covered, but nature intended for the breasts to serve a primary purpose of nourishing our children.
Personally, and luckily, I never received negative comments while breastfeeding my child in public. But at the same time, I did cover up my breasts (HooterHiders are great!) in order to avoid embarrassing those around me. Unfortunately, our society is not ready to handle bare-breasted mothering in public -- it has been only recently that breastfeeding in public has become acceptable. Mothers may need to be sensitive to the times. At least we are allowed to breastfeed in public, even though we may need to do it discretely.
I am glad to hear I'm not the only one who has to face the rude comments. The ones that bother me the most are the ones that come from other mother's. I was at a restuarant nursing my son completely covered and a women in the next booth started to wisper to her husband and children and point at us I wanted to cry. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong. I'm 22 and have two children 5yrs and almost 1 and I will never understand how another mother can be so rude.
I am also a breastdfeeding mother but never will you see me breastfeed my little one out in public. If other women choose to do so I think it's ok. But cover yourself up. Have respect for your body.
So many of us experience this and yet I wonder ,we just vent on forums like this and in real life have to bear the uncomfortable glances the rude comments. I am there right know, I've ducked into the mall restrrom, cringing crying withn my heart for having to feel so shamed to feed in public that I was feeding my innocent precious daughter in the mall restroom I could hear ugh people using the restrroms and I had to feed her there ... many malls public places in fact do not have a place for breastfeeding moms/ As breastffeeding mom s we need to put our foot down and stand up in solidarity with each other. I thought 100s of breast feeding moms in a park together would be a great thing .We should have more defining legislature to no just to protect our rights to nurture our children in public as needed but to have provsions in public places like malls,resturants,airports to allow breatfeeding mothers to be comfortbale in public.
I don't know who's criticizing you for doing something that in past ages was accepted quite naturally. It could be that in a multi-cultural society people from religions and cultures that emphasize modesty and the robing of the human form may react to a public display of breast feeding. I don't know the demographics of who is criticizing you so the reasons could be many.
p.s. You'll never hear rude comments from men because men enjoy the female form and they also deeply respect breastfeeding women. :-)
Fantastic article! It's hard to believe that anyone would make such rude comments about a woman breastfeeding. Babies need milk to survive and it's a biological fact of nature that a woman's breasts were designed exclusively for that purpose. If anyone bugs you about it again, just tell them to mind their own business and take a flying leap. Frankly, I think it's a little creepy that a woman would pay that much attention to another woman's breasts to begin with and might be tempted to say as much. If other women feel inadequate or have other hang-ups, they should keep them to themselves and look away. :-)
Good article. It is so true. I was feeding my daughter in the lounge part of a bathroom once (the chair was behind a partition so it was not even in direct view of the other people using the bathroom and I got several rude comments from women who were curious enough to peer around because my sister was standing in front of me and we were talking. I was told several times that "in their day that sort of thing just wasn't done". That may be true, but does that make it wrong?? I was sitting out of everyone's way and was not showing anything inappropriate since my blouse covered most of my breast anyway. I was shocked by the reaction of other women.